Like you I had to grow up with a learning disability in a school system that did not know how to manage it. I know the "Dumb and lazy" labels they put on you for not being able to keep up with a disability. My mom was told that I would be lucky if I ever made it to a third grade level of knowledge. The therapist stated that my problem was all due to lack of discipline. Well I now have a BS in aerospace engineering and a MS in technology management so I believe I proved them wrong.
Only my anger is more directed to the educational system then my parents. How were they supposed to know? They never received any training, and were brought up differently. It is hard to be a parent, and you make mistakes, lots of them. I am angry because I see the kids going through the same thing when we as a society have so much more information available related how to identify, test and manage learning disabilities. The no child left behind laws and limited budgets have really done learning disabled kids a huge dis-service. So take some of that anger and join me in trying to keep the schools in line, and to protect any future kids that you may have someday. (they will have a larger risk).
You will never develop a strong relationship with your parents until you can work it out. Working with a therapist or moderator would work best. And, you can not get through it without your parents willing participation. I would recommend finding a therapist, or other moderator and trying to set up something. If your parents refuse to go, or refuse to participate appropriately there is nothing you can do, and the relationship is unlikely to strive. Their choice not yours. You could then work with the therapist to deal with your grieving process (yes you can grieve when losing someone who is still alive). But you need to find a way to get through the anger.
