I agree that focusing on the lies will only bring more lies. Take away any and all temptation, such as the candy jar, keep things that you or your daughter don't want anyone else touching private or even locked up.
My difficult child told her entire kindergarten class that I ran her over with the car! She stole the entire 3rd grade class's supply of calculators, and later she stole my wedding band, one of H's rings and her sisters jewelry. Going back in therapy we were able to pinpoint that those incidents were all precipitated by major life changing events - FOR HER. Not necessarily for me or H or her sister, but for her. Everyone reacts differently to any given situation. If you know and understand that the changes going on in your home and lives is traumatic on even a small scale, take that into consideration. Your son knows stealing and lying is wrong - to constantly punish him over and over again isn't going to make the lightbulb go off. However, you may worry that doing or saying nothing to him about his behavior will be the same as condoning it. Therefore, you may want to acknowledge his lying or stealing in an appropriate manner, but not make him stay in his room all the time. What purpose will it serve if it's not doing anything to change his behavior anyway? I often think that just their KNOWING that we KNOW is enough. Hugs~ It's not easy.
