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how to handle an obsessive compulsive issues with clothes - 5 yr old
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 353001" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>You have gotten awesome advice. I also strongly recommend neuropsychologist testing and testing by a private Occupational Therapist (OT). Schools DO have OTs but they usually test only for stuff that impacts academics, so often they will not look at the sensory stuff as much. The book smallworld recommended is great. The same author also has a book called "The Out-of-Sync-Child Has Fun" that is full of activities that give various kinds of sensory input. You may find some that your daughter likes and this can help fuflill her sensory needs.</p><p></p><p>Your daughter is not trying to hurt herself, nor is she trying to be difficult or defiant. Her body and brain are telling her she MUST have the sensation of having her clothing that tight. It is hard to describe how she feels when her clothes are loose, but most everything in the world feels wrong to her. She truly FEELS off or wrong or out of place. </p><p></p><p>As for looking like a lazy mom, well, those of us parenting differently wired kids have to develop thick skins and learn what matters and what doesn't. What others think occupies a lower rung on the ladder than making sure your child is able to learn and cope with the world. Here on this site we refer to that thick skin as "rhino skin armor". we can imagine the various things other people say and think as arrows that just bounce off the rhino skin that protects us.</p><p></p><p>There may be some Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) in her behavior, but I have a feeling it is secondary if it exists. This is where the neuropsychologist testing will help.</p><p></p><p>You are not alone. I have a son who chews. He requires a LOT of oral chewing to function. We have used necklaces and tubes and other things for him to chew on, but he always ends up chewing his shirts. If he has long sleeves they are usually wet a couple inches up from the wrist. It is not uncommon for them to be spit soaked up to the elbow. If his shirt is short sleeved then he chews the collar. Some days the front of his shirt is wet halfway down or more. This year, 4th grade, is the first year I did not keep a clean shirt in a ziploc in his backpack. He could change into the clean one and put the wet one in the ziploc. I stopped because he would not take the shirts OUT and they mildewed badly. Yuck.</p><p></p><p>Other parents look at him funny. Teachers don't really like it. That is THEIR problem. We work with him, it is better than it was (have you ever tried to nurse a child who liked to chew from birth? It was a fun 7 months, lol) He is my 3rd and I had pretty good rhino armor by then so the funny looks were not a problem. We have been BLESSED with an excellent school with teachers and staff who really understand his problems/quirks and work amazingly well with him (by the way this is the "poorest" and "worst" school in our district - and he could NOT get a better education at the private schools in town!)</p><p></p><p>With a leotard under her clothes, and tights too, she may be able to follow the dress code. If the school cannot work with her, or is too set on seeing her as "defiant" or "difficult", you may want to look at other schools. Often public schools are better at working with our kids because they have more resources to deal with kids who are not neurotypical. Your daughter may be eligible for an IEP which will provide supports for her so that she can learn as effectively as possible. </p><p></p><p>I am glad you are here! Welcome!!! If possible, could you go to the "My Profile" tab at the top right of the screen and make a signature? No real names, or identifying info or pictures, but basic info to help us keep your details together. thanks!!</p><p></p><p>stick around, check out the archives and FAQ! We are happy you are here (but sad you need to be here, Know what I mean??)</p><p></p><p>Hugs!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 353001, member: 1233"] You have gotten awesome advice. I also strongly recommend neuropsychologist testing and testing by a private Occupational Therapist (OT). Schools DO have OTs but they usually test only for stuff that impacts academics, so often they will not look at the sensory stuff as much. The book smallworld recommended is great. The same author also has a book called "The Out-of-Sync-Child Has Fun" that is full of activities that give various kinds of sensory input. You may find some that your daughter likes and this can help fuflill her sensory needs. Your daughter is not trying to hurt herself, nor is she trying to be difficult or defiant. Her body and brain are telling her she MUST have the sensation of having her clothing that tight. It is hard to describe how she feels when her clothes are loose, but most everything in the world feels wrong to her. She truly FEELS off or wrong or out of place. As for looking like a lazy mom, well, those of us parenting differently wired kids have to develop thick skins and learn what matters and what doesn't. What others think occupies a lower rung on the ladder than making sure your child is able to learn and cope with the world. Here on this site we refer to that thick skin as "rhino skin armor". we can imagine the various things other people say and think as arrows that just bounce off the rhino skin that protects us. There may be some Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) in her behavior, but I have a feeling it is secondary if it exists. This is where the neuropsychologist testing will help. You are not alone. I have a son who chews. He requires a LOT of oral chewing to function. We have used necklaces and tubes and other things for him to chew on, but he always ends up chewing his shirts. If he has long sleeves they are usually wet a couple inches up from the wrist. It is not uncommon for them to be spit soaked up to the elbow. If his shirt is short sleeved then he chews the collar. Some days the front of his shirt is wet halfway down or more. This year, 4th grade, is the first year I did not keep a clean shirt in a ziploc in his backpack. He could change into the clean one and put the wet one in the ziploc. I stopped because he would not take the shirts OUT and they mildewed badly. Yuck. Other parents look at him funny. Teachers don't really like it. That is THEIR problem. We work with him, it is better than it was (have you ever tried to nurse a child who liked to chew from birth? It was a fun 7 months, lol) He is my 3rd and I had pretty good rhino armor by then so the funny looks were not a problem. We have been BLESSED with an excellent school with teachers and staff who really understand his problems/quirks and work amazingly well with him (by the way this is the "poorest" and "worst" school in our district - and he could NOT get a better education at the private schools in town!) With a leotard under her clothes, and tights too, she may be able to follow the dress code. If the school cannot work with her, or is too set on seeing her as "defiant" or "difficult", you may want to look at other schools. Often public schools are better at working with our kids because they have more resources to deal with kids who are not neurotypical. Your daughter may be eligible for an IEP which will provide supports for her so that she can learn as effectively as possible. I am glad you are here! Welcome!!! If possible, could you go to the "My Profile" tab at the top right of the screen and make a signature? No real names, or identifying info or pictures, but basic info to help us keep your details together. thanks!! stick around, check out the archives and FAQ! We are happy you are here (but sad you need to be here, Know what I mean??) Hugs!! [/QUOTE]
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