I see things a bit different.
After long experience with my son, I don't anymore think there is anything I can do that will substantially change my son's behavior or any other things about him. Which is to say, taking her, not taking her, she's going to do what she is going to do.
That said, I do agree with the others that by your doing stuff for her, where there are available community and social resources that she can alternately use, would be damaging to her and to you too, potentially. She needs to branch out so that her support system is beyond just you. This fosters dependency, not independence, if you are her "everything."
All of us need to grow in capacity, self-reliance and grow our support networks, whatever our capacity or situation or age.
I agree with you here. You should feel the option to help if you choose. I do not think her expectations have anything to do with it. But I know how hard this is. When my son asks me for things over and over again, I feel pressured. I feel guilty. I get angry. Instead of maintaining a neutral, centered and stable attitude. I cave into myself. This is about me, not my son.
What about going with her, supporting her to build her support network, through accessing available community services?
Like this.
If she had a support network, you would not feel obliged. Nor would you feel put upon, or guilty. I think this would be ideal for the both of you.
