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<blockquote data-quote="dizzymum" data-source="post: 134951" data-attributes="member: 4688"><p>Hello Change. My sympathies for you and your daughter.</p><p> </p><p>This is such a hard thing to deal with. I have been there done that myself. It is so hard to organise your feelings at that age. </p><p> </p><p>I found starving myself helped mask over the sick feeling in my gut. I didn't set out to starve, it wasn't about being thin or achieving a certain look or control. Being hungry is painful. I imagine being full to the brim makes you feel pretty sick too, so maybe it's a different end of the same stick?</p><p> </p><p>I would say the pain/high of hunger is like music..... the feelings from the abuse are like listening to your neighbours stereo blasting 24/7. The only way to tune it out is to play your own CD so loud that you can't hear any more from next door.</p><p> </p><p>It was important for me to KNOW, not lip service, but know that I did not have a flourescent sign over my head saying... do what you want, I have no say... and to recognise that this person had his own problems and he chose to inflict them on to me. It just happened to be where I was born and there was nothing about me that invited that sort of treatment. It gave me my voice back and the ability to defend myself and feel validated in doing so. It took me along time because I limped with it for years before breaking. Your daughter has the chance now. Well done. I wish you strength, courage and wisdom. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/peaceful.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":peaceful:" title="peaceful :peaceful:" data-shortname=":peaceful:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dizzymum, post: 134951, member: 4688"] Hello Change. My sympathies for you and your daughter. This is such a hard thing to deal with. I have been there done that myself. It is so hard to organise your feelings at that age. I found starving myself helped mask over the sick feeling in my gut. I didn't set out to starve, it wasn't about being thin or achieving a certain look or control. Being hungry is painful. I imagine being full to the brim makes you feel pretty sick too, so maybe it's a different end of the same stick? I would say the pain/high of hunger is like music..... the feelings from the abuse are like listening to your neighbours stereo blasting 24/7. The only way to tune it out is to play your own CD so loud that you can't hear any more from next door. It was important for me to KNOW, not lip service, but know that I did not have a flourescent sign over my head saying... do what you want, I have no say... and to recognise that this person had his own problems and he chose to inflict them on to me. It just happened to be where I was born and there was nothing about me that invited that sort of treatment. It gave me my voice back and the ability to defend myself and feel validated in doing so. It took me along time because I limped with it for years before breaking. Your daughter has the chance now. Well done. I wish you strength, courage and wisdom. :peaceful: [/QUOTE]
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