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General Parenting
How to stop the screaming?
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 254300" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I agree about reading the book. It could give you some good strategies, regardless of what label your child is given.</p><p></p><p>A few thoughts to consider - see if you can take some notes, maybe make a list. What triggers her screaming? How do people react to it (including you)? What happens next?</p><p></p><p>If she is screaming like this at 7, then she is getting reinforced somehow. Exactly how she is getting reinforced may not be immediately obvious. But observing and taking notes can help you find out how, so you can try to "flip the switch" in a different direction.</p><p></p><p>I noticed a family today (local art exhibition). The child would have been maybe 4 years old, was running around being a bit of a pain, was making me a bit anxious for some of the art work (fragile ceramics and other sculptures among te paintings). I watched thiskid running, apparently trying to get a reaction from his mother. And the kid was squealing, that really high-pitched, penetrating scream that you HAVE to notice, not the sort of thing you can ignore in an otherwise quiet gallery.</p><p></p><p>What I noticed - the mother was apparently accepting this behaviour as normal and acceptable. And it didn't stop. It just kept going. From the sound of the kid, he was bored and tired, making sure he was letting his mother know.</p><p></p><p>I didn't observe them for long enough to be able to say if what she was doing was right or wrong, although I suspect "wrong" because there could so easily have been an expensive disaster which she may have thought she could just walk away from (no way). As they were leaving, she casually called to him and he ran along behind her, still screaming and whining while she continued to ignore the noise.</p><p></p><p>The impression I got in his case - he makes these noises trying to get her attention, and in thiscase ignoring it isn't really working because he's just ramping it up.</p><p></p><p>However, as I said I can't be sure. Every case is different.</p><p></p><p>Observing is going to be the best way to work out where it's coming from and finding the key to turning this behaviour around.</p><p></p><p>Good luck.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 254300, member: 1991"] I agree about reading the book. It could give you some good strategies, regardless of what label your child is given. A few thoughts to consider - see if you can take some notes, maybe make a list. What triggers her screaming? How do people react to it (including you)? What happens next? If she is screaming like this at 7, then she is getting reinforced somehow. Exactly how she is getting reinforced may not be immediately obvious. But observing and taking notes can help you find out how, so you can try to "flip the switch" in a different direction. I noticed a family today (local art exhibition). The child would have been maybe 4 years old, was running around being a bit of a pain, was making me a bit anxious for some of the art work (fragile ceramics and other sculptures among te paintings). I watched thiskid running, apparently trying to get a reaction from his mother. And the kid was squealing, that really high-pitched, penetrating scream that you HAVE to notice, not the sort of thing you can ignore in an otherwise quiet gallery. What I noticed - the mother was apparently accepting this behaviour as normal and acceptable. And it didn't stop. It just kept going. From the sound of the kid, he was bored and tired, making sure he was letting his mother know. I didn't observe them for long enough to be able to say if what she was doing was right or wrong, although I suspect "wrong" because there could so easily have been an expensive disaster which she may have thought she could just walk away from (no way). As they were leaving, she casually called to him and he ran along behind her, still screaming and whining while she continued to ignore the noise. The impression I got in his case - he makes these noises trying to get her attention, and in thiscase ignoring it isn't really working because he's just ramping it up. However, as I said I can't be sure. Every case is different. Observing is going to be the best way to work out where it's coming from and finding the key to turning this behaviour around. Good luck. Marg [/QUOTE]
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