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How to work around this? Or should we?
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<blockquote data-quote="Marcie Mac" data-source="post: 269869" data-attributes="member: 47"><p>Sue, when I left home at 17 and decided to go 3,000 miles away from home, with virtually no money and a suitcase full of clothes (which I left at a rest stop in Minn), and landed in Ca. with just a tshirt and jeans, I was in an extremely difficult situation to say the least. Being a difficult child, I survived somehow. Was it easy, absolutely not. Did I survive. Of course, as do many others who make bad choices and somehow find a shovel (or a trowel) to dig your way out of it, or not.</p><p> </p><p>If I recall, he is working, right? 2nd hand stores, Salvation Army stores, Goodwill are open for a reason. They sell dressers - he can get one there.</p><p> </p><p>I am positive my mother would have had many sleepless nights crying if she knew how I was living. Unlike a lot of difficult child's today, I would have preferred to knaw my legs off at the knees before I called home to ask for help - I knew any that was given would come with strings attached and I decided I was a no strings kinda girl.</p><p> </p><p>I know that thank you has a mirad of problems but at some point, even if he doesn't get it 100&#37;, he has to learn that you can't get anything by being nasty and hateful. Getting him stuff for an apartment, futons, etc. isn't going to help make his life any better or him more organized- the chances are he is going to lose all his stuff, if not once, but a few times down the line - it will get broken, he won't take care of it, via eviction, his friends trashing it, etc. </p><p> </p><p>Looking back now, I see I used to be an absolute zelot about cleaning Dans whirlwind of a room - I used to think whew, now its all clean and organized, he will be be better. And maybe he was, for a day, and then it would become a trash heap in short order, and I would go in again and do my thing. I realize now I was doing that for ME, not him LOL "I" got more out of the room with some sembalance of order, like it being neat and orderly was going to rub off on HIM somehow...not....but I felt better. At 25 it is just now kicking in about how nice it is not to have a lot of chaos in your room..don't know if its maturity or just friends going in there for a video game session and going ewwww, Dude, whats with the room <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p> </p><p>Hugs</p><p>Marcie</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marcie Mac, post: 269869, member: 47"] Sue, when I left home at 17 and decided to go 3,000 miles away from home, with virtually no money and a suitcase full of clothes (which I left at a rest stop in Minn), and landed in Ca. with just a tshirt and jeans, I was in an extremely difficult situation to say the least. Being a difficult child, I survived somehow. Was it easy, absolutely not. Did I survive. Of course, as do many others who make bad choices and somehow find a shovel (or a trowel) to dig your way out of it, or not. If I recall, he is working, right? 2nd hand stores, Salvation Army stores, Goodwill are open for a reason. They sell dressers - he can get one there. I am positive my mother would have had many sleepless nights crying if she knew how I was living. Unlike a lot of difficult child's today, I would have preferred to knaw my legs off at the knees before I called home to ask for help - I knew any that was given would come with strings attached and I decided I was a no strings kinda girl. I know that thank you has a mirad of problems but at some point, even if he doesn't get it 100%, he has to learn that you can't get anything by being nasty and hateful. Getting him stuff for an apartment, futons, etc. isn't going to help make his life any better or him more organized- the chances are he is going to lose all his stuff, if not once, but a few times down the line - it will get broken, he won't take care of it, via eviction, his friends trashing it, etc. Looking back now, I see I used to be an absolute zelot about cleaning Dans whirlwind of a room - I used to think whew, now its all clean and organized, he will be be better. And maybe he was, for a day, and then it would become a trash heap in short order, and I would go in again and do my thing. I realize now I was doing that for ME, not him LOL "I" got more out of the room with some sembalance of order, like it being neat and orderly was going to rub off on HIM somehow...not....but I felt better. At 25 it is just now kicking in about how nice it is not to have a lot of chaos in your room..don't know if its maturity or just friends going in there for a video game session and going ewwww, Dude, whats with the room :) Hugs Marcie [/QUOTE]
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