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How to work around this? Or should we?
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<blockquote data-quote="slsh" data-source="post: 269886" data-attributes="member: 8"><p>Thank you guys, so much. Tears of relief here. You are such a gift.</p><p> </p><p>The SRO is a 12-story building, 150+ rooms. He will have a private bath, but there is no kitchen. He'll have to get a hot plate (shudder) and/or microwave. He will have a small fridge. He's on the top floor, corner room (with a beautiful view of the lake per CM). I don't know the city real well but based on nearby attractions, I'm guessing it's probably in one of the better neighborhoods with a lot of revitalization that has already taken place. I looked up the management company. It was apparently a transient flop house back in the 80s. They bought it and rehabbed it, and majority of tenants are "disabled" - I'm guessing MI but don't know for sure. CM said he and difficult child met with- lady from mgmt co last week and went over rules. There are a lot - curfew, no overnight visitors, everyone who enters must show ID, etc.</p><p> </p><p>Outcome.... I'm too close to it to even know what to hope for, or to expect. CM is hooking him up with- an adult case management agency. Of course, that will require some cooperation on difficult child's part. Good luck. The priority was to get him someplace to live because funding is up on the 9th. He doesn't have a job and refuses voc. rehab services because he doesn't need them. </p><p> </p><p>I've talked with a multitude of state agencies the past couple of weeks. We do have options but unfortunately, it all boils down to difficult child cooperating. I could have filed for an injunction over this loss of funding but he would have *had* to attend school. He refuses. I feel like he's tying my hands left and right, but then turns around and is angry at *me* because he doesn't get what he wants when he wants how he wants on his terms only. </p><p> </p><p>husband is not helping a whole lot right now because all of a sudden he's excusing all of difficult child's behaviors by pointing out that he's mentally ill (he's a little slow on the uptake - I hit that stage in about 2000, LOL). I did hold firm on difficult child returning home for a very limited amount of time only. husband backed down when I invited him to move out with- difficult child - not a threat and not angrily, but the impact of difficult child living here indefinitely would be horrible for the younger 2 kids. I'm not doing it again. </p><p> </p><p>I *hope* that difficult child will be able to pull it together. I hope that he'll get a job and get a life and realize that he is the only one who is accountable for his situation (husband seriously is not helping me stick with- this fantasy because all of a sudden he's of the opinion that difficult child isn't capable - I'm not so sure). Another real possibility is that he will go back to revolving door admissions. I of course worry about self-harm and am alternating between want to save him from that and realizing that if he makes that choice, there is absolutely nothing I can do about it realistically. Jail is also a possibility. He's managed to skate by so far with adjudicated cases for drugs but... he's 18 now. </p><p> </p><p>And thanks, Suz. I hadn't even started to worry about what happens when he gets evicted! <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /> I'll be thinking of you at 2 a.m. tomorrow. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/Graemlins/rofl.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":rofl:" title="rofl :rofl:" data-shortname=":rofl:" /> Seriously? I don't know what happens then. I do know it will be our fault if/when he's evicted. </p><p> </p><p>I'm just going to grit my teeth I guess. husband is being wishy-washy, just asked me if he should try to call difficult child again. I said no. Let him come to us, civilly. </p><p> </p><p>I just keep picturing an empty room with nothing in it - it's not going to do much for his mental health, you know? I don't know what he's going to do on a day-to-day basis and I'm trying *real* hard not to go there but... blech. It's really hard to maintain objectivity right now but I don't think there's anything at all that I can do to help him because every word out of my mouth just sets him off. </p><p> </p><p>CM *did* finally get him to apply for Medicaid. difficult child's looking at a significant hospital bill from March. Copay is going to be a couple grand, I'm guessing. But when *I* suggested Medicaid, I was being "too negative". </p><p> </p><p>Maybe the only way he'll make this work is if we shut up and let him sink or swim. </p><p> </p><p>Thanks so much for the moral support.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="slsh, post: 269886, member: 8"] Thank you guys, so much. Tears of relief here. You are such a gift. The SRO is a 12-story building, 150+ rooms. He will have a private bath, but there is no kitchen. He'll have to get a hot plate (shudder) and/or microwave. He will have a small fridge. He's on the top floor, corner room (with a beautiful view of the lake per CM). I don't know the city real well but based on nearby attractions, I'm guessing it's probably in one of the better neighborhoods with a lot of revitalization that has already taken place. I looked up the management company. It was apparently a transient flop house back in the 80s. They bought it and rehabbed it, and majority of tenants are "disabled" - I'm guessing MI but don't know for sure. CM said he and difficult child met with- lady from mgmt co last week and went over rules. There are a lot - curfew, no overnight visitors, everyone who enters must show ID, etc. Outcome.... I'm too close to it to even know what to hope for, or to expect. CM is hooking him up with- an adult case management agency. Of course, that will require some cooperation on difficult child's part. Good luck. The priority was to get him someplace to live because funding is up on the 9th. He doesn't have a job and refuses voc. rehab services because he doesn't need them. I've talked with a multitude of state agencies the past couple of weeks. We do have options but unfortunately, it all boils down to difficult child cooperating. I could have filed for an injunction over this loss of funding but he would have *had* to attend school. He refuses. I feel like he's tying my hands left and right, but then turns around and is angry at *me* because he doesn't get what he wants when he wants how he wants on his terms only. husband is not helping a whole lot right now because all of a sudden he's excusing all of difficult child's behaviors by pointing out that he's mentally ill (he's a little slow on the uptake - I hit that stage in about 2000, LOL). I did hold firm on difficult child returning home for a very limited amount of time only. husband backed down when I invited him to move out with- difficult child - not a threat and not angrily, but the impact of difficult child living here indefinitely would be horrible for the younger 2 kids. I'm not doing it again. I *hope* that difficult child will be able to pull it together. I hope that he'll get a job and get a life and realize that he is the only one who is accountable for his situation (husband seriously is not helping me stick with- this fantasy because all of a sudden he's of the opinion that difficult child isn't capable - I'm not so sure). Another real possibility is that he will go back to revolving door admissions. I of course worry about self-harm and am alternating between want to save him from that and realizing that if he makes that choice, there is absolutely nothing I can do about it realistically. Jail is also a possibility. He's managed to skate by so far with adjudicated cases for drugs but... he's 18 now. And thanks, Suz. I hadn't even started to worry about what happens when he gets evicted! ;) I'll be thinking of you at 2 a.m. tomorrow. :rofl: Seriously? I don't know what happens then. I do know it will be our fault if/when he's evicted. I'm just going to grit my teeth I guess. husband is being wishy-washy, just asked me if he should try to call difficult child again. I said no. Let him come to us, civilly. I just keep picturing an empty room with nothing in it - it's not going to do much for his mental health, you know? I don't know what he's going to do on a day-to-day basis and I'm trying *real* hard not to go there but... blech. It's really hard to maintain objectivity right now but I don't think there's anything at all that I can do to help him because every word out of my mouth just sets him off. CM *did* finally get him to apply for Medicaid. difficult child's looking at a significant hospital bill from March. Copay is going to be a couple grand, I'm guessing. But when *I* suggested Medicaid, I was being "too negative". Maybe the only way he'll make this work is if we shut up and let him sink or swim. Thanks so much for the moral support. [/QUOTE]
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