Discuss away
I think it comes down to men not wanting drama or crying wives. Also with grands although it isnt fair that this matters, the woman gives birth or initiates adoption and often breastfeeds and becomes primary caregiver even if she works, so she takes charge of who sees the kids, where the family gathers, what the rules are ...etc. Many if not most men find they have a back seat. Or willingly take a back seat. Until recently divorce court almost always gave primary custody to women. This is finally changing to 50/50. Many men dont even know of new laws.
For now, in relationships, in my opinion women are more apt to be in charge of the kids, like in the old days. The men do the yardwork more and bring home often more $$$ and the woman is still more apt to take care of the children and inside of the house. And I do think this often benefits the parents on the woman's side.
