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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 748914" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Not one time, ever in my life, did I go out to eat with either maternal grandparent. *Yet I remember what we ate at home. I can savor it. I can stand at the kitchen counter (mentally) with my grandmother and prepare it with her.</p><p></p><p>I loved my grandparents with all my heart and soul. My grandfather, had he lived, would be 130 years this year. My grandmother, 125 years. I love them so much, they are with me still. Every day. Every minute. Not one meal in a restaurant can I summon forth. Who cares?</p><p></p><p>They were from the old country. They felt uncomfortable in restaurants. People of 100 years ago did not eat in restaurants, 99 percent of them. I have NO restaurant memories with them. Yet they fill my heart.</p><p></p><p>I would let grandson decide all of this. Where he wants to go, go. Where he does not want to go, fine. Eat home, if need be. Get take out. He might find it fun if the same food was delivered. And you can have a picnic in the yard. Or on the porch. With candles. And music. You can dance. (Like I did with my grandma.) *There are so many ways you can make this fun. You don't want to add to his stress. Cook with grandson. He will remember this his whole life, like I do.</p><p></p><p>Nomad. I just HATE that these people are the way they are. I can't believe it, really. This is gaslighting. It is hyper-control. But you can let go. You don't have to engage.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 748914, member: 18958"] Not one time, ever in my life, did I go out to eat with either maternal grandparent. *Yet I remember what we ate at home. I can savor it. I can stand at the kitchen counter (mentally) with my grandmother and prepare it with her. I loved my grandparents with all my heart and soul. My grandfather, had he lived, would be 130 years this year. My grandmother, 125 years. I love them so much, they are with me still. Every day. Every minute. Not one meal in a restaurant can I summon forth. Who cares? They were from the old country. They felt uncomfortable in restaurants. People of 100 years ago did not eat in restaurants, 99 percent of them. I have NO restaurant memories with them. Yet they fill my heart. I would let grandson decide all of this. Where he wants to go, go. Where he does not want to go, fine. Eat home, if need be. Get take out. He might find it fun if the same food was delivered. And you can have a picnic in the yard. Or on the porch. With candles. And music. You can dance. (Like I did with my grandma.) *There are so many ways you can make this fun. You don't want to add to his stress. Cook with grandson. He will remember this his whole life, like I do. Nomad. I just HATE that these people are the way they are. I can't believe it, really. This is gaslighting. It is hyper-control. But you can let go. You don't have to engage. [/QUOTE]
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