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Hurt and frustrated
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<blockquote data-quote="Deni D" data-source="post: 751584" data-attributes="member: 22840"><p>JayPee ~ It seems your son is forcing your hand. At least that's the way I felt with mine. I felt my son was so nasty I had no choice but to show him he can't treat someone with such disrespect and expect anything from them. On some level I kind of feel a bit lucky, if my son were not so abusive it would have been even harder for me to back away from my enabling.</p><p></p><p>My son learned his lethal verbal & written moves from his father. He now sounds exactly like his father when his father was not stable. Name calling is bad but the lengthy character assignation type verbal vomit started up once I started to cut off any financial support. If your son is anything like mine he will ramp it up as you try to change things. I think it's good you are in therapy and probably a good idea to continue.</p><p></p><p>As of now my son has made it impossible for me to support him in anyway, emotionally, by guidance or financially. I currently will not allow any contact, period. I've had to accept this may never change, but I couldn't take the alternative any longer. </p><p></p><p>As as an adult I believe it's on him how he chooses to behave and relate to others, even with the mental illness. I suspect your sons wouldn't dare speak to others who they know could very well "clean their clock" in the same manner as they speak to you. I know my son wouldn't and therefore know no matter what he has some control of himself, but rather believes he's entitled to all that is mine and entitled to get as nasty as he wants to punish me for not giving in. Anyone can believe anything they want, but I don't have to go along with it, no matter who they are.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Deni D, post: 751584, member: 22840"] JayPee ~ It seems your son is forcing your hand. At least that's the way I felt with mine. I felt my son was so nasty I had no choice but to show him he can't treat someone with such disrespect and expect anything from them. On some level I kind of feel a bit lucky, if my son were not so abusive it would have been even harder for me to back away from my enabling. My son learned his lethal verbal & written moves from his father. He now sounds exactly like his father when his father was not stable. Name calling is bad but the lengthy character assignation type verbal vomit started up once I started to cut off any financial support. If your son is anything like mine he will ramp it up as you try to change things. I think it's good you are in therapy and probably a good idea to continue. As of now my son has made it impossible for me to support him in anyway, emotionally, by guidance or financially. I currently will not allow any contact, period. I've had to accept this may never change, but I couldn't take the alternative any longer. As as an adult I believe it's on him how he chooses to behave and relate to others, even with the mental illness. I suspect your sons wouldn't dare speak to others who they know could very well "clean their clock" in the same manner as they speak to you. I know my son wouldn't and therefore know no matter what he has some control of himself, but rather believes he's entitled to all that is mine and entitled to get as nasty as he wants to punish me for not giving in. Anyone can believe anything they want, but I don't have to go along with it, no matter who they are. [/QUOTE]
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