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Hurt and frustrated
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember1" data-source="post: 751593" data-attributes="member: 23706"><p>I would love a nice Kay in my life. Is it ever worth it to me to have an abusive person in my life, even if it is a beloved child? Someone who demeans us, disregards our feelings and boundaries, is too selfish to ask how WE are doing?</p><p></p><p>I think this just weakens us and makes us slaves. My husband and I will no longer do it. If Kay refuses to so much as not smoke around me because I don't like it and have smoke allergies, or to refuse to speak calmly to us or to let us see her child without making us pay for it then this is not somebody I want to see. The door is always open, but with her respecting us as we do her. We cant tell her how to live her life unless she wants our support. Then I feel we have every right to put up reasonable boundaries. I ask no more or less from Kay than from my other kids. Or anyone. No pot on our premesis, no cussing at us, reasonable access to Jaden, an attempt to be kind. Those are basic. Easy.</p><p></p><p>I feel guilty over how peaceful we feel these days. Amy still lives here with her kids half time as her house is being built. The relationship just flows. No yelling. Nothing bad. Sometimes she cooks for all of us and she helps me clean and her kids actually listen to us. They are delightful.</p><p></p><p>My son visits more. He is close to Amy and.loves his neice and nephew. He mows the lawn and helps my hub with other chores and they fish a lot. Hugs me like a kid. "You are the best mom." I need this after what Kay accused me of. There arr no strings attached to the love we give our other kids or they give us. None. No bartering for love.</p><p></p><p>Kay destroys our harmony. She is welcome here, as we love her, but she has to at least try being nice. She is not so mentally ill that she can not try. We have offered to pay for any mental health or rehab she enters into that still stands.</p><p></p><p>We have done what we can. It is time to enjoy our golden years.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember1, post: 751593, member: 23706"] I would love a nice Kay in my life. Is it ever worth it to me to have an abusive person in my life, even if it is a beloved child? Someone who demeans us, disregards our feelings and boundaries, is too selfish to ask how WE are doing? I think this just weakens us and makes us slaves. My husband and I will no longer do it. If Kay refuses to so much as not smoke around me because I don't like it and have smoke allergies, or to refuse to speak calmly to us or to let us see her child without making us pay for it then this is not somebody I want to see. The door is always open, but with her respecting us as we do her. We cant tell her how to live her life unless she wants our support. Then I feel we have every right to put up reasonable boundaries. I ask no more or less from Kay than from my other kids. Or anyone. No pot on our premesis, no cussing at us, reasonable access to Jaden, an attempt to be kind. Those are basic. Easy. I feel guilty over how peaceful we feel these days. Amy still lives here with her kids half time as her house is being built. The relationship just flows. No yelling. Nothing bad. Sometimes she cooks for all of us and she helps me clean and her kids actually listen to us. They are delightful. My son visits more. He is close to Amy and.loves his neice and nephew. He mows the lawn and helps my hub with other chores and they fish a lot. Hugs me like a kid. "You are the best mom." I need this after what Kay accused me of. There arr no strings attached to the love we give our other kids or they give us. None. No bartering for love. Kay destroys our harmony. She is welcome here, as we love her, but she has to at least try being nice. She is not so mentally ill that she can not try. We have offered to pay for any mental health or rehab she enters into that still stands. We have done what we can. It is time to enjoy our golden years. [/QUOTE]
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