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Hurt and frustrated
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<blockquote data-quote="Beta" data-source="post: 751628" data-attributes="member: 22597"><p>I think we all bonded so closely with our kids when they little that it's difficult to hold them to the same standards of civility and respect that we would expect from others. It takes a change of thinking and practice to develop the ability to detach and not allow their abuse. I've come a long way with Josh, but still have a ways to go. But wishing me and my husband dead and threatening to kill us, steal from us, etc. has changed me on the inside as far as how I view him and how I feel about him. I love him. I always will. But he is a stranger to me now and I am afraid of him now, which would have been inconceivable at one time. Josh rarely calls us Mom or Dad now. My husband is "your husband" if he's talking to me; and I'm "your wife" if he's talking to my husband. When he talks or texts to us directly (before he was blocked, of course) he used crude swear words. He is becoming just someone we once raised and loved in our home but who no longer is part of our family. I'm still trying to get my head wrapped around that one. There's still a resistance within me to accepting that that might just be the way it is, maybe for a while, maybe forever. I too try to remember that I'm not doing him any favors when I allow him to abuse me; it just reinforces the behavior pattern in him.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Beta, post: 751628, member: 22597"] I think we all bonded so closely with our kids when they little that it's difficult to hold them to the same standards of civility and respect that we would expect from others. It takes a change of thinking and practice to develop the ability to detach and not allow their abuse. I've come a long way with Josh, but still have a ways to go. But wishing me and my husband dead and threatening to kill us, steal from us, etc. has changed me on the inside as far as how I view him and how I feel about him. I love him. I always will. But he is a stranger to me now and I am afraid of him now, which would have been inconceivable at one time. Josh rarely calls us Mom or Dad now. My husband is "your husband" if he's talking to me; and I'm "your wife" if he's talking to my husband. When he talks or texts to us directly (before he was blocked, of course) he used crude swear words. He is becoming just someone we once raised and loved in our home but who no longer is part of our family. I'm still trying to get my head wrapped around that one. There's still a resistance within me to accepting that that might just be the way it is, maybe for a while, maybe forever. I too try to remember that I'm not doing him any favors when I allow him to abuse me; it just reinforces the behavior pattern in him. [/QUOTE]
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