Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Hurt and frustrated
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 751637" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Those of you who post here regularly know that I am struggling with a situation that is similar in ways to that of Beta in that my son, too, is mentally ill, but has not threatened me or been violent. So. Let's say I deal with 50 percent of what Beta does.</p><p></p><p>My son can be difficult, resistant, and impossible. There are times I can no longer tolerate him. But he can be loving. He loves me. He does not reject me. He needs me. He is NOT hateful. There have been periods when he calls me by my first name. He has blamed me for his life, that he did not die. But there has never been a time when I felt as if I needed to forget about him, or renounced him, or believed he was irretrievable. I have never believed there was a time when we would not have a future together as long as I live and afterwards. I am constantly thinking of how I can protect him, when I am gone.It has been painful to me, this struggle of Beta's to deal with her son. I have urged her to make distance. But I have felt pain when I felt that the distance in her mind that she was making from Josh, seemed like it was too far. I know I don't get a vote with Josh. But it is because of the similarities of our situations that I personalize Beta's situation.</p><p>You see, Busy. Beta I think just has one child. I only have my son. I can't divide my children into two baskets. For me, there is only one. Tanya has only one son, too. And she has chosen to detach. I have been unwilling to do so. It could be the differences in children. It could be the differences in mothers. Or both.</p><p></p><p>I just want to say that I truly, truly understand the why and the need behind detaching from children who threaten and hurt you and your loved ones. For me, however, I would want to always believe that there could be a way back. For me there have been times when I have psychically thrown overboard my son. Those periods have been between 24 hours and maximum 3 weeks. I needed psychic safety then. But more than that, I needed my son. I need him. I need the thought of him. I need the commitment to him. He defines my life. There is no before and after with my son, for me. I have to find a way to integrate him into my life. And I always do.</p><p></p><p>But then, I have not had to cross over to a no man's land, where my son threatened to kill me, or said he wanted me dead. I don't know how that would be for me. If I have tried to counsel Beta or anybody else who to deal with this, I am wrong. Anything spoken from this from this please, would be only dread.</p><p></p><p>We, all of us, here on this forum write from our hearts, our own life stories. Much of the time there is a confluence. Sometimes, not. I want to make clear that I speak only for me.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 751637, member: 18958"] Those of you who post here regularly know that I am struggling with a situation that is similar in ways to that of Beta in that my son, too, is mentally ill, but has not threatened me or been violent. So. Let's say I deal with 50 percent of what Beta does. My son can be difficult, resistant, and impossible. There are times I can no longer tolerate him. But he can be loving. He loves me. He does not reject me. He needs me. He is NOT hateful. There have been periods when he calls me by my first name. He has blamed me for his life, that he did not die. But there has never been a time when I felt as if I needed to forget about him, or renounced him, or believed he was irretrievable. I have never believed there was a time when we would not have a future together as long as I live and afterwards. I am constantly thinking of how I can protect him, when I am gone.It has been painful to me, this struggle of Beta's to deal with her son. I have urged her to make distance. But I have felt pain when I felt that the distance in her mind that she was making from Josh, seemed like it was too far. I know I don't get a vote with Josh. But it is because of the similarities of our situations that I personalize Beta's situation. You see, Busy. Beta I think just has one child. I only have my son. I can't divide my children into two baskets. For me, there is only one. Tanya has only one son, too. And she has chosen to detach. I have been unwilling to do so. It could be the differences in children. It could be the differences in mothers. Or both. I just want to say that I truly, truly understand the why and the need behind detaching from children who threaten and hurt you and your loved ones. For me, however, I would want to always believe that there could be a way back. For me there have been times when I have psychically thrown overboard my son. Those periods have been between 24 hours and maximum 3 weeks. I needed psychic safety then. But more than that, I needed my son. I need him. I need the thought of him. I need the commitment to him. He defines my life. There is no before and after with my son, for me. I have to find a way to integrate him into my life. And I always do. But then, I have not had to cross over to a no man's land, where my son threatened to kill me, or said he wanted me dead. I don't know how that would be for me. If I have tried to counsel Beta or anybody else who to deal with this, I am wrong. Anything spoken from this from this please, would be only dread. We, all of us, here on this forum write from our hearts, our own life stories. Much of the time there is a confluence. Sometimes, not. I want to make clear that I speak only for me. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Hurt and frustrated
Top