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Substance Abuse
husband and I keep getting stronger despite difficult child use and abuse...
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<blockquote data-quote="Signorina" data-source="post: 641768"><p>Lots of love to you this holiday season.</p><p></p><p>As moms, we start this journey thinking we hold the key to fixing our kids. We work so hard on trying different tactics, practicing just the right thing to say, detaching, not detaching, but always with great love. We're tightly coiled- always ready to spring at whatever comes next because just maybe the right combo of words and actions from us will FINALLY get through to difficult child.</p><p></p><p>And that journey changes US - but it doesn't change them. And our change and growth highlights the lack of change and growth in our difficult children.</p><p></p><p>Iis the no growth thing that hits home for me. My difficult child too has nothing to show for the past 4 years of his life. No place to call home, no car, no realistic goals, nada. He is the same stubborn 19 year old who dropped out of school and life. Except he is no longer 19; he's nearly 23.</p><p></p><p>I think it was Nancy who taught thst our kids get stuck at the age they were when they began using. I used to think it was a chemical thing but I've grown to realize that using was my son's way of checking out. And he has not checked back in.</p><p></p><p>Your son was purposely mean and that hurts doubly. You are a wonderful mother and you have moved mountains for him. I admire your strength and your courage.</p><p></p><p>There was a time that I thought I couldn't be happy unless my kids were happy and well. That happiness could and should wait until difficult child was back on the right track. During that time, any rare feeling of happiness was immediately smothered by my own guilt. I look back and I want to shake myself.</p><p></p><p>I am so glad you are moving on and seeking your own happiness. Life is too short. I hope you have a blessed and peaceful Christmas.</p><p></p><p>Xoxo</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Signorina, post: 641768"] Lots of love to you this holiday season. As moms, we start this journey thinking we hold the key to fixing our kids. We work so hard on trying different tactics, practicing just the right thing to say, detaching, not detaching, but always with great love. We're tightly coiled- always ready to spring at whatever comes next because just maybe the right combo of words and actions from us will FINALLY get through to difficult child. And that journey changes US - but it doesn't change them. And our change and growth highlights the lack of change and growth in our difficult children. Iis the no growth thing that hits home for me. My difficult child too has nothing to show for the past 4 years of his life. No place to call home, no car, no realistic goals, nada. He is the same stubborn 19 year old who dropped out of school and life. Except he is no longer 19; he's nearly 23. I think it was Nancy who taught thst our kids get stuck at the age they were when they began using. I used to think it was a chemical thing but I've grown to realize that using was my son's way of checking out. And he has not checked back in. Your son was purposely mean and that hurts doubly. You are a wonderful mother and you have moved mountains for him. I admire your strength and your courage. There was a time that I thought I couldn't be happy unless my kids were happy and well. That happiness could and should wait until difficult child was back on the right track. During that time, any rare feeling of happiness was immediately smothered by my own guilt. I look back and I want to shake myself. I am so glad you are moving on and seeking your own happiness. Life is too short. I hope you have a blessed and peaceful Christmas. Xoxo [/QUOTE]
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husband and I keep getting stronger despite difficult child use and abuse...
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