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husband...Biodad....Jealousy...AARRRGGGHHH!!!
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<blockquote data-quote="ShakespeareMamaX" data-source="post: 131054" data-attributes="member: 3861"><p>Wow! Many many questions to answer. I'll try to go in order according to topic:</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="font-size: 12px">difficult child's Issues</span></strong></p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">LittleDudesMom</span></strong></p><p></p><p><span style="color: Blue">Q</span>: That's some serious physical aggression for an 8 year old. How do you all address these types of things at home? What type of consequences does your son have for physically touching someone in an angry manner?</p><p></p><p><span style="color: DarkOrange">A</span>: I talk to my difficult child while he's at school, I go to the school and, upon the school's request, I take him out of school. I try to pick his brain, ask why he acted that way (he pushed the girl because she poked him, slapped the girl because she was chasing and teasing him, the 5 kids... unexplainable). Usually, I try to have him write about it. I've given him a journal. Told him to write any feelings (even swears!) that may help him get his anger out. I try to avoid just sending him to his room but, at times, I feel it's the only resort. Most of the time, he responds with "I don't know" when I ask him about his behavior, but then he'll burst out hours later saying how bad he is and how he shouldn't be alive because of the things he does. I always encourage him and stress not to apologize, but show changes in behavior. I tell him it always counts when he's trying. It's tough... I'm open for suggestions.</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">nvts</span></strong></p><p></p><p><span style="color: Blue">Q</span>: On again to difficult child. This has GOT to be confusing him as well. Think about it: this relationship is confusing a grown man (husband). How does it look to him (difficult child)? Deep down maybe he's thinking "maybe they're getting back together", then it becomes "what if they do?", "what happens to me", "what happens to husband", "where will I live"? You also mentioned that the Ex is moving. How far is that going to be? Yet another slew of questions are growing in difficult child's head!!!</p><p></p><p><span style="color: DarkOrange">A</span>: This is a touchy subject, but I'm glad you're shining this light on it. Ex is moving about 2 blocks from where he used to live. This is confusing to me as anyone else as we've never gotten along so well until he started getting into both of his son's lives. His brother's mom recently got married and Ex is best friends with her (actual best friends). They hang out on a regular basis, have dinner together (husband included, sometimes), etc... I guess, seeing that and how difficult child's brother has had no behavior changes, I didn't think my son would react to the situation so harshly (assuming this is the cause). I also couldn't understand why my husband would have such a problem having seen their relationship.</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: Red">MidwestMom</span></strong></p><p></p><p><span style="color: Blue">Q</span>: Maybe his medications are making him worse instead of better.</p><p></p><p><span style="color: DarkOrange">A</span>: He did just have his Risperdal doubled (he was on the lowest dose), so everyone has their fingers crossed that the increase will decrease his outbursts. I'm not ready to change medications just yet, but I'll keep you posted on any changes that may occur with this medication dosage (.5 2x a day).</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ShakespeareMamaX, post: 131054, member: 3861"] Wow! Many many questions to answer. I'll try to go in order according to topic: [B][SIZE="3"]difficult child's Issues[/SIZE][/B] [B][COLOR="Red"]LittleDudesMom[/COLOR][/B] [COLOR="Blue"]Q[/COLOR]: That's some serious physical aggression for an 8 year old. How do you all address these types of things at home? What type of consequences does your son have for physically touching someone in an angry manner? [COLOR="DarkOrange"]A[/COLOR]: I talk to my difficult child while he's at school, I go to the school and, upon the school's request, I take him out of school. I try to pick his brain, ask why he acted that way (he pushed the girl because she poked him, slapped the girl because she was chasing and teasing him, the 5 kids... unexplainable). Usually, I try to have him write about it. I've given him a journal. Told him to write any feelings (even swears!) that may help him get his anger out. I try to avoid just sending him to his room but, at times, I feel it's the only resort. Most of the time, he responds with "I don't know" when I ask him about his behavior, but then he'll burst out hours later saying how bad he is and how he shouldn't be alive because of the things he does. I always encourage him and stress not to apologize, but show changes in behavior. I tell him it always counts when he's trying. It's tough... I'm open for suggestions. [B][COLOR="Red"]nvts[/COLOR][/B] [COLOR="Blue"]Q[/COLOR]: On again to difficult child. This has GOT to be confusing him as well. Think about it: this relationship is confusing a grown man (husband). How does it look to him (difficult child)? Deep down maybe he's thinking "maybe they're getting back together", then it becomes "what if they do?", "what happens to me", "what happens to husband", "where will I live"? You also mentioned that the Ex is moving. How far is that going to be? Yet another slew of questions are growing in difficult child's head!!! [COLOR="DarkOrange"]A[/COLOR]: This is a touchy subject, but I'm glad you're shining this light on it. Ex is moving about 2 blocks from where he used to live. This is confusing to me as anyone else as we've never gotten along so well until he started getting into both of his son's lives. His brother's mom recently got married and Ex is best friends with her (actual best friends). They hang out on a regular basis, have dinner together (husband included, sometimes), etc... I guess, seeing that and how difficult child's brother has had no behavior changes, I didn't think my son would react to the situation so harshly (assuming this is the cause). I also couldn't understand why my husband would have such a problem having seen their relationship. [B][COLOR="Red"]MidwestMom[/COLOR][/B] [COLOR="Blue"]Q[/COLOR]: Maybe his medications are making him worse instead of better. [COLOR="DarkOrange"]A[/COLOR]: He did just have his Risperdal doubled (he was on the lowest dose), so everyone has their fingers crossed that the increase will decrease his outbursts. I'm not ready to change medications just yet, but I'll keep you posted on any changes that may occur with this medication dosage (.5 2x a day). [/QUOTE]
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