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husband fired difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 171413" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Wow what a spot for a child to put anyone in - especially his parents. </p><p> </p><p>And what a shame that he does. It tears my heart out to think about our kids sometimes. If they even were able to do a 10th of what we wished for them or knew was good for them they would be so much better off. But it seems they instead refuse to grow up, want to be victims, think it's okay to float through life with no responsibilities and that the world owes them a kiss on the @$$. The very nerve! </p><p> </p><p>If they were not our kids - if your son was NOT your son - what then? How would you advise someone to handle the same situation you are going through? How sorry would you feel for a person that did the things your difficult child has done to your family if he was not family? And why does it matter if he is family? Is that supposed to get them a pass/a buy on life and being a decent human? Okay - so yeah, lets say we do give them a buy/pass because they are family. HOW many times are we supposed to do THAT before people start whispering that we must be idiots, and then that adds to our misery because all we really wanted in the first place was to have a kid that was just () much normal. </p><p> </p><p>I think that's why I like coming here Alyssa. I like it because I KNOW the advice that others here give me isn't biased, it's not going to sound mean spirited, or be bad advice because ALL of us here have had to go through similar things on varying levels. So when I tell you - "LET HIM FIND HIS WAY" it almost seems different than your BFF who proabably isn't wanting to tell you what she really thinks for fear of loosing you as a friend - because I've been there. </p><p> </p><p>NOT with drugs and my son - but with my x. (X being the best word in that entire sentence) </p><p> </p><p>Is it heartwrenching? Heck yeah. Is there a thing we can do about it? Nope - and THAT is what makes it so impossible and painful for us as parents - we're soooooo used to picking them up and dusting them off as children - and teens -and becuase they DO have disadvantages that other kids don't seem to have we have a propensity to treat them different or "special" and when we do that - sometimes? Maybe okay - but to continually do it over and over? Insanity. </p><p> </p><p>And sometimes it takes the strength of 100 elephants to stand strong, watch our children self-destruct with their abnormal ideals, and hold our family together. We're a TOUGH lot - we are, we are! </p><p> </p><p>I have no real advice - you sound like you have a handle on it - you're just blown away that once again - you have to deal with the fallout of a kid who should be somewhat of an adult and is acting more like a spoiled 3 year old. (if that old) lol </p><p> </p><p>So I'm sending hugs and strength and glue with loads of love. </p><p> </p><p>Some things you just can't fix with love and patience. I'm also learning this. </p><p> </p><p>Hugs</p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 171413, member: 4964"] Wow what a spot for a child to put anyone in - especially his parents. And what a shame that he does. It tears my heart out to think about our kids sometimes. If they even were able to do a 10th of what we wished for them or knew was good for them they would be so much better off. But it seems they instead refuse to grow up, want to be victims, think it's okay to float through life with no responsibilities and that the world owes them a kiss on the @$$. The very nerve! If they were not our kids - if your son was NOT your son - what then? How would you advise someone to handle the same situation you are going through? How sorry would you feel for a person that did the things your difficult child has done to your family if he was not family? And why does it matter if he is family? Is that supposed to get them a pass/a buy on life and being a decent human? Okay - so yeah, lets say we do give them a buy/pass because they are family. HOW many times are we supposed to do THAT before people start whispering that we must be idiots, and then that adds to our misery because all we really wanted in the first place was to have a kid that was just () much normal. I think that's why I like coming here Alyssa. I like it because I KNOW the advice that others here give me isn't biased, it's not going to sound mean spirited, or be bad advice because ALL of us here have had to go through similar things on varying levels. So when I tell you - "LET HIM FIND HIS WAY" it almost seems different than your BFF who proabably isn't wanting to tell you what she really thinks for fear of loosing you as a friend - because I've been there. NOT with drugs and my son - but with my x. (X being the best word in that entire sentence) Is it heartwrenching? Heck yeah. Is there a thing we can do about it? Nope - and THAT is what makes it so impossible and painful for us as parents - we're soooooo used to picking them up and dusting them off as children - and teens -and becuase they DO have disadvantages that other kids don't seem to have we have a propensity to treat them different or "special" and when we do that - sometimes? Maybe okay - but to continually do it over and over? Insanity. And sometimes it takes the strength of 100 elephants to stand strong, watch our children self-destruct with their abnormal ideals, and hold our family together. We're a TOUGH lot - we are, we are! I have no real advice - you sound like you have a handle on it - you're just blown away that once again - you have to deal with the fallout of a kid who should be somewhat of an adult and is acting more like a spoiled 3 year old. (if that old) lol So I'm sending hugs and strength and glue with loads of love. Some things you just can't fix with love and patience. I'm also learning this. Hugs Star [/QUOTE]
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