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Husband has an adult child that was adopted.
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 724351" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>What's interesting and puzzling is that she didn't raise them and gave them no opportunities in life yet they are willing to drop their good lives and follow her. Even after her abandonment and now her lack of concern about their futures.</p><p></p><p>Make no mistake about it. The kids WANT this. Ever try to tell an eighteen year old to do something she doesn't want to do? Many refuse. Twenty is even older. There is something in them that wants this...maybe her approval after she abandoned them. It is a deep hurt. Or maybe they really didn't want to go to college and she gives them free housing and freedom to do easy jobs so they trade that off and give her the money.</p><p>The entire situation sounds dysfunctional, but not only can't you control her, you can't control adult kids. They will do what they want to do. There is probably more to the story than you are being told. Talking about it to anyone most likely won't help.</p><p></p><p>Adoption is difficult for the person adopted. It is a seemingly unnatural abandonment by mom and dad and affects each person differently.</p><p>I agree bio. Mom is a part of this, but not that she is all of it. I am sorry for this sad update. But they have the option of going back home. I think the cycle will play out and they will go home. If they don't, they are old enough to know what they are choosing to do. Eighteen year olds are able to serve our country and vote. They are young, but not THAT young.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 724351, member: 1550"] What's interesting and puzzling is that she didn't raise them and gave them no opportunities in life yet they are willing to drop their good lives and follow her. Even after her abandonment and now her lack of concern about their futures. Make no mistake about it. The kids WANT this. Ever try to tell an eighteen year old to do something she doesn't want to do? Many refuse. Twenty is even older. There is something in them that wants this...maybe her approval after she abandoned them. It is a deep hurt. Or maybe they really didn't want to go to college and she gives them free housing and freedom to do easy jobs so they trade that off and give her the money. The entire situation sounds dysfunctional, but not only can't you control her, you can't control adult kids. They will do what they want to do. There is probably more to the story than you are being told. Talking about it to anyone most likely won't help. Adoption is difficult for the person adopted. It is a seemingly unnatural abandonment by mom and dad and affects each person differently. I agree bio. Mom is a part of this, but not that she is all of it. I am sorry for this sad update. But they have the option of going back home. I think the cycle will play out and they will go home. If they don't, they are old enough to know what they are choosing to do. Eighteen year olds are able to serve our country and vote. They are young, but not THAT young. [/QUOTE]
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Husband has an adult child that was adopted.
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