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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 178075" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>Wow, Sara- your experience summarizes <em>exactly</em> how I feel. </p><p></p><p>He was saying things completely out of character during that time period. Not just ranting and raving like some of us do when we are angry, but things like "you made a big mistake when <em>you decided</em> I was bipolar", "I wouldn't get rid of you now, because then everyone would just say I was crazy, I have to let everyone know what kind of person you are and what is wrong with you first, so they'll know I'm not sick" or something like that.</p><p></p><p>He had been doing more than just "ok"- he had been doing great- and I had told him so. I had fussed at him in a major way for something the 3rd day he was home from detention (alomst 2 weeks ago), then he straightened up- there was no indicator of becoming physical through that. Then yesterday, I fussed at him for eating ALL the snacks that I had bought in bulk last weekend that were supposed to last 2 weeks. I fussed- but not as much as I had before- I just told him that he wouldn't have as much to take with him to day camp next week because he should have saved some of them. I told him I was very upset with him about it. </p><p></p><p>Things like that happen occasionaly- it doesn't always trigger him into a a rage. Rages don't normally turn into physical confrontations. I don't know- but I can definietely relate to what Sara said. I'm sure I'm not always handling things the best way with him and have room for improvement, but I don't think sending him to live with someone who tells him that it IS all his mom's fault is going to improve things for anyone.</p><p></p><p>I feel like I have failed him- not because I think I deserved that or that it's my fault this is happening, but because I don't know the solution. And, I'm starting to wonder if and how much of a connection there is to a certain side of his father that would come out periodically. That scares me horribly. His father never became physicaly violent with me, but there were times I was afraid of him. Have you ever met a person who was as nice as could be unless they drank or got high, then they were not rational and seemed to be a different person - so much so that they were frighterning? The father is that way- exccept he didn't drink or do drugs. "It" just came out peridicaly- and now I'm not so sure if that was just a manipulation technique like I used to think. Seeing difficult child do this, when difficult child has never had ANY knowledge or idea that his father did this makes me think there might be more going in inside his head than I thought.</p><p></p><p>He was taken off his risperdal 1 week ago to use it only PRN. I wonder if that had anything to do with it.</p><p></p><p>by the way- I do realize that I can't get so caught up into analyzing the cause that I don't address a solution. But I'm still a little shocked and stymied right now and trying to mull all this over and, like Sara said, weigh what direction to go in about it. I SOOO wish that we had people in our Department of Juvenile Justice who actually could help and not just "put" the kids places that almost always make them worse and don't address the problems they have.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 178075, member: 3699"] Wow, Sara- your experience summarizes [I]exactly[/I] how I feel. He was saying things completely out of character during that time period. Not just ranting and raving like some of us do when we are angry, but things like "you made a big mistake when [I]you decided[/I] I was bipolar", "I wouldn't get rid of you now, because then everyone would just say I was crazy, I have to let everyone know what kind of person you are and what is wrong with you first, so they'll know I'm not sick" or something like that. He had been doing more than just "ok"- he had been doing great- and I had told him so. I had fussed at him in a major way for something the 3rd day he was home from detention (alomst 2 weeks ago), then he straightened up- there was no indicator of becoming physical through that. Then yesterday, I fussed at him for eating ALL the snacks that I had bought in bulk last weekend that were supposed to last 2 weeks. I fussed- but not as much as I had before- I just told him that he wouldn't have as much to take with him to day camp next week because he should have saved some of them. I told him I was very upset with him about it. Things like that happen occasionaly- it doesn't always trigger him into a a rage. Rages don't normally turn into physical confrontations. I don't know- but I can definietely relate to what Sara said. I'm sure I'm not always handling things the best way with him and have room for improvement, but I don't think sending him to live with someone who tells him that it IS all his mom's fault is going to improve things for anyone. I feel like I have failed him- not because I think I deserved that or that it's my fault this is happening, but because I don't know the solution. And, I'm starting to wonder if and how much of a connection there is to a certain side of his father that would come out periodically. That scares me horribly. His father never became physicaly violent with me, but there were times I was afraid of him. Have you ever met a person who was as nice as could be unless they drank or got high, then they were not rational and seemed to be a different person - so much so that they were frighterning? The father is that way- exccept he didn't drink or do drugs. "It" just came out peridicaly- and now I'm not so sure if that was just a manipulation technique like I used to think. Seeing difficult child do this, when difficult child has never had ANY knowledge or idea that his father did this makes me think there might be more going in inside his head than I thought. He was taken off his risperdal 1 week ago to use it only PRN. I wonder if that had anything to do with it. by the way- I do realize that I can't get so caught up into analyzing the cause that I don't address a solution. But I'm still a little shocked and stymied right now and trying to mull all this over and, like Sara said, weigh what direction to go in about it. I SOOO wish that we had people in our Department of Juvenile Justice who actually could help and not just "put" the kids places that almost always make them worse and don't address the problems they have. [/QUOTE]
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