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Hypothetically speaking...
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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 178188" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>Thanks everyone- as always- I don't know what I would do without you! I talked to him about it today and reminded him about what had happened a few months ago when he had feelings like that but he didn't act on them- he came and talked to me instead. He said it wasn't like that last night. (I'm not convinced- I think in HIS mind it wasn't the same because it was impulsive and a few months ago he was able to recognize a tempataion before he acted impulsively.) Anyway- right now I tend to think it will take a combination of things to reel this in from getting worse. That opinion could change as I learn more and we see what transpires, but I think medications and psychiatrist need to be involved, but punishment needs to be involved too. Not punishment like our Department of Juvenile Justice has though- mainly because they don't have anything other than lock them up with no rehabilitation.</p><p></p><p>They have no boot camp type program or work program in our county. They have nothing but short -term detention, the program that the judge wanted but difficult child is too young for , and the state commitment. The judge's program would be the best of those three but it still doesn't do much. I asked the attny about the state and was even considering it for difficult child, but the attny said I needed to fight with all my might against that because here, that is like sticking a kid in an adult prison. He stressed to me that difficult child is way too young and not hardened (I don't remember his exact words)- but he said difficult child should NOT be in there and that he would be hurt.</p><p></p><p>I tend to think- at least today, and lord knows I have spent the past 24 hours pretty emotionally shaken, that difficult child does have issues and problems but they can be helped, but they aren't helped by doing what people did with my bro. They might require therapy and medications, but they don't require permission to keep pushing those boundaries to limits beyond belief. I cannot solve this problem by allowing my son to develop the same sense of entitlement that my bro has. Not just for my or my son's sake, but for any future wife and grandbaby's sake, too, Know what I mean??</p><p></p><p>That being said, I'm not so sure that I'm knowledgable enough at this point to know if he's psychotic sometimes. I'm still learning a lot of this and I'm not sure I have the correct definitions. Clearly- he had distorted thinking last night. But I really do not know if it was distorted like my bro's sense of entitlement and fantasy land where no one counts but him, or if it was hallucinations (as in hearing voices telling him to do something) or if difficult child had thoughts that I was some enemy. The profs sometimes (ok- most of the time) jump to such conclusions before they know half the facts or history that it scares me more to talk to them. I mean if they are talking about forcing a solution on us when I KNOW they don't know 1/4 of the story, how can I have much faith in their solution?</p><p></p><p>Anyway, I'm trying not to put all the eggs in one basket, so to speak, as far as what to do. Maybe because I'm not sure and maybe because I think there is no one miraculous cure and it will take a combination of things. So, I don't want to call anyone in who will make it a "this is the only solution" situation. I have given him a few punishments- I guess they are lame for what he has done. He has been irritable all day and pushed limits a little- just making noise and banging things when I told him to put something in the shed. I went and stood up to him (not all in his face) and told him that he had pushed enough- he's lucky that he's sleeping in this house tonight. </p><p></p><p>I try to think back things (approaches) that have worked with him. I am trying hard to stay focused on those methods. Even though, no counselor seems to be supporting that. All I can say is that I want to find what gives him the best hope- not just for today or this year, but for the rest of his life. and he cannot grow up to abuse women or children.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 178188, member: 3699"] Thanks everyone- as always- I don't know what I would do without you! I talked to him about it today and reminded him about what had happened a few months ago when he had feelings like that but he didn't act on them- he came and talked to me instead. He said it wasn't like that last night. (I'm not convinced- I think in HIS mind it wasn't the same because it was impulsive and a few months ago he was able to recognize a tempataion before he acted impulsively.) Anyway- right now I tend to think it will take a combination of things to reel this in from getting worse. That opinion could change as I learn more and we see what transpires, but I think medications and psychiatrist need to be involved, but punishment needs to be involved too. Not punishment like our Department of Juvenile Justice has though- mainly because they don't have anything other than lock them up with no rehabilitation. They have no boot camp type program or work program in our county. They have nothing but short -term detention, the program that the judge wanted but difficult child is too young for , and the state commitment. The judge's program would be the best of those three but it still doesn't do much. I asked the attny about the state and was even considering it for difficult child, but the attny said I needed to fight with all my might against that because here, that is like sticking a kid in an adult prison. He stressed to me that difficult child is way too young and not hardened (I don't remember his exact words)- but he said difficult child should NOT be in there and that he would be hurt. I tend to think- at least today, and lord knows I have spent the past 24 hours pretty emotionally shaken, that difficult child does have issues and problems but they can be helped, but they aren't helped by doing what people did with my bro. They might require therapy and medications, but they don't require permission to keep pushing those boundaries to limits beyond belief. I cannot solve this problem by allowing my son to develop the same sense of entitlement that my bro has. Not just for my or my son's sake, but for any future wife and grandbaby's sake, too, Know what I mean?? That being said, I'm not so sure that I'm knowledgable enough at this point to know if he's psychotic sometimes. I'm still learning a lot of this and I'm not sure I have the correct definitions. Clearly- he had distorted thinking last night. But I really do not know if it was distorted like my bro's sense of entitlement and fantasy land where no one counts but him, or if it was hallucinations (as in hearing voices telling him to do something) or if difficult child had thoughts that I was some enemy. The profs sometimes (ok- most of the time) jump to such conclusions before they know half the facts or history that it scares me more to talk to them. I mean if they are talking about forcing a solution on us when I KNOW they don't know 1/4 of the story, how can I have much faith in their solution? Anyway, I'm trying not to put all the eggs in one basket, so to speak, as far as what to do. Maybe because I'm not sure and maybe because I think there is no one miraculous cure and it will take a combination of things. So, I don't want to call anyone in who will make it a "this is the only solution" situation. I have given him a few punishments- I guess they are lame for what he has done. He has been irritable all day and pushed limits a little- just making noise and banging things when I told him to put something in the shed. I went and stood up to him (not all in his face) and told him that he had pushed enough- he's lucky that he's sleeping in this house tonight. I try to think back things (approaches) that have worked with him. I am trying hard to stay focused on those methods. Even though, no counselor seems to be supporting that. All I can say is that I want to find what gives him the best hope- not just for today or this year, but for the rest of his life. and he cannot grow up to abuse women or children. [/QUOTE]
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