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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 752675" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I was curious where in the USA you can buy a house for less than 50k. I guessed that would be places like the deep South. I was surprised to learn that Ohio, Maryland, New York, Iowa, Indiana, Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, Texas, and Illinois, are among the many states where even larger cities (like Toledo or Akron) have houses for 50k or less. That would mean that a down payment could be as little as 2k to 5k. And if he worked in Alaska for a summer, or in the Shale Oilfields, he could pay cash!</p><p></p><p>I recognize that your son likely has poor credit. But people rebuild their credit. He could at any point choose to change course. As can my own son.</p><p></p><p>Every single thing I do to help my son do things poorly and be dependent, reinforces his ability to stay the same. Still. I help him. Why? Because just like with your son, he has changed some. And I guess I feel as if I have more power than I really do. Our help is not what gets them to change. Their decisions do.</p><p></p><p>I know you are willing to help your son. But you are choosing to do so in ways that do not incentivize his staying dependent upon you or others. This is a good thing!! I know how hard this is, as I am trying to do the same thing.</p><p></p><p>I am very glad you posted this thread. It's very helpful to me to think this through with you.</p><p></p><p>PS Many people with bipolar become stable and fully functional on medication.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 752675, member: 18958"] I was curious where in the USA you can buy a house for less than 50k. I guessed that would be places like the deep South. I was surprised to learn that Ohio, Maryland, New York, Iowa, Indiana, Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, Texas, and Illinois, are among the many states where even larger cities (like Toledo or Akron) have houses for 50k or less. That would mean that a down payment could be as little as 2k to 5k. And if he worked in Alaska for a summer, or in the Shale Oilfields, he could pay cash! I recognize that your son likely has poor credit. But people rebuild their credit. He could at any point choose to change course. As can my own son. Every single thing I do to help my son do things poorly and be dependent, reinforces his ability to stay the same. Still. I help him. Why? Because just like with your son, he has changed some. And I guess I feel as if I have more power than I really do. Our help is not what gets them to change. Their decisions do. I know you are willing to help your son. But you are choosing to do so in ways that do not incentivize his staying dependent upon you or others. This is a good thing!! I know how hard this is, as I am trying to do the same thing. I am very glad you posted this thread. It's very helpful to me to think this through with you. PS Many people with bipolar become stable and fully functional on medication. [/QUOTE]
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