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<blockquote data-quote="Blindsided" data-source="post: 753164" data-attributes="member: 23811"><p>It sounds like the boundaries you have set are starting to work, but not quite there. My suggestion, after giving far more money than I ever should have, dont give in. When we let up (thinking things might be different, this time), the boundaries break down, and the cycle starts all over again, from the beginning. I cant go there. </p><p></p><p>My daughter tried again recently after 2 yrs of no. I have given my daughter (41) the boundaries. If and when she gets help for her behaviors and alcoholism, a job or if truly sick, apply for disability, we will be here. I have not told her exactly what that looks like because she would use it to manipulate, but my thoughts are to pay the first couple months of sober living. </p><p></p><p>Trust has been broken and our adult children must earn it back. </p><p></p><p>I am thinking of you. It is hard. But I can say, having boundaries helps me. Working at emotional detachment helps me make better decisions. That's not to say I am good at it 100%, but my days in what I call the black vortex are fewer.</p><p></p><p>Love and light.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Blindsided, post: 753164, member: 23811"] It sounds like the boundaries you have set are starting to work, but not quite there. My suggestion, after giving far more money than I ever should have, dont give in. When we let up (thinking things might be different, this time), the boundaries break down, and the cycle starts all over again, from the beginning. I cant go there. My daughter tried again recently after 2 yrs of no. I have given my daughter (41) the boundaries. If and when she gets help for her behaviors and alcoholism, a job or if truly sick, apply for disability, we will be here. I have not told her exactly what that looks like because she would use it to manipulate, but my thoughts are to pay the first couple months of sober living. Trust has been broken and our adult children must earn it back. I am thinking of you. It is hard. But I can say, having boundaries helps me. Working at emotional detachment helps me make better decisions. That's not to say I am good at it 100%, but my days in what I call the black vortex are fewer. Love and light. [/QUOTE]
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