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I am irreparably damaged
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 284276" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Steely, </p><p> </p><p>I will tell you the same thing I told my son who has been through more hell on earth than most kids I know. It took YEARS for you to be like you are. It will take YEARS for you to repair yourself and your psyche. If you are in, or have been in counseling that you felt did not help? Then you need to keep trying to seek out a person to help you fix yourself. You've been to enough counselors to know that if this one doesn't click with you - you need to find another one you can build trust with. You didn't get like this overnight - you're not going to be repaired overnight or in six months, or even six years. Trauma needs to be addressed with a professional you TRUST. The behaviors you are describing regarding Matt, your male friend? Are serious enough that they are impairing your lifestyle. </p><p> </p><p>So, when you tell me NOT to suggest counseling - it limits my ability to suggest things that I think you could benefit from like EMDR therapy which is a faster, more intense type of psychotherapy that works IF YOU LET IT. </p><p>I'm sorry friend, I care too much about you to lie and tell you "Gosh Steely there IS a quick fix to your problems I'm just not going to tell you, or I could say well, you know if you just did EVERYTHING like I did you'd be better."...and then tell you what I did. I wish it were that simple. All I can tell you for certain is that the healing of your own soul lies within you, but you have to be able to trust at least ONE other person just enough that is a professional to get you to open up and start discussing your fears. </p><p> </p><p>I guess I could tell you everything that I've lived through, and done and why - but most of the horrific stuff and trauma I've lived through were so ridiculous I'm not sure I even want to revisit it since I started to heal. I can tell you that when you shut down, shut out suggestions you limit yourself on the right type of healing that COULD make a difference in your life. On the other hand if you've already blocked out therapy as a way to help you or this EMDR I'm talking about - that's just one more brick in your wall you will have to work through to get well. </p><p> </p><p>There are unfortunately no quick fixes or no lives you can parallel yours to that will make your life right again. I know - I tried. I did therapy with a 1/2 dozen people for over six years and I was so unwilling to give it one more chance with this last guy. At the thought of sounding redundant - I really think you should check in to this EMDR therapy. It was simple, painless...and gave me the tools to overcome a lot of my baggage. It was ALSO TONS better than sitting there listening to...."And what do YOU think about that?" I HATE THAT TYPE OF PSYCHO THERAPY. It's useless. </p><p> </p><p>EMDR on the other hand - taught me how to relive my life with a safety net in place and ME in control. Worked MUCH better - and I even had a chuckle or two once I got the remote control in MY hands. </p><p> </p><p>Hugs - </p><p>Sorry not what you wanted to hear - but it's all I have to give.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 284276, member: 4964"] Steely, I will tell you the same thing I told my son who has been through more hell on earth than most kids I know. It took YEARS for you to be like you are. It will take YEARS for you to repair yourself and your psyche. If you are in, or have been in counseling that you felt did not help? Then you need to keep trying to seek out a person to help you fix yourself. You've been to enough counselors to know that if this one doesn't click with you - you need to find another one you can build trust with. You didn't get like this overnight - you're not going to be repaired overnight or in six months, or even six years. Trauma needs to be addressed with a professional you TRUST. The behaviors you are describing regarding Matt, your male friend? Are serious enough that they are impairing your lifestyle. So, when you tell me NOT to suggest counseling - it limits my ability to suggest things that I think you could benefit from like EMDR therapy which is a faster, more intense type of psychotherapy that works IF YOU LET IT. I'm sorry friend, I care too much about you to lie and tell you "Gosh Steely there IS a quick fix to your problems I'm just not going to tell you, or I could say well, you know if you just did EVERYTHING like I did you'd be better."...and then tell you what I did. I wish it were that simple. All I can tell you for certain is that the healing of your own soul lies within you, but you have to be able to trust at least ONE other person just enough that is a professional to get you to open up and start discussing your fears. I guess I could tell you everything that I've lived through, and done and why - but most of the horrific stuff and trauma I've lived through were so ridiculous I'm not sure I even want to revisit it since I started to heal. I can tell you that when you shut down, shut out suggestions you limit yourself on the right type of healing that COULD make a difference in your life. On the other hand if you've already blocked out therapy as a way to help you or this EMDR I'm talking about - that's just one more brick in your wall you will have to work through to get well. There are unfortunately no quick fixes or no lives you can parallel yours to that will make your life right again. I know - I tried. I did therapy with a 1/2 dozen people for over six years and I was so unwilling to give it one more chance with this last guy. At the thought of sounding redundant - I really think you should check in to this EMDR therapy. It was simple, painless...and gave me the tools to overcome a lot of my baggage. It was ALSO TONS better than sitting there listening to...."And what do YOU think about that?" I HATE THAT TYPE OF PSYCHO THERAPY. It's useless. EMDR on the other hand - taught me how to relive my life with a safety net in place and ME in control. Worked MUCH better - and I even had a chuckle or two once I got the remote control in MY hands. Hugs - Sorry not what you wanted to hear - but it's all I have to give. [/QUOTE]
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