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I am irreparably damaged
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<blockquote data-quote="muttmeister" data-source="post: 284304" data-attributes="member: 135"><p>Sending hugs your way.</p><p> </p><p>I don't have any big answers for you but I do know that, after all you've been through, there are no quick fixes, professional or not. They say time heals all wounds. I'm not sure it heals them but in time we do develop enough scar tissue to get on with our lives and function.</p><p> </p><p>With Matt, you have a right to feel worried. I have to admit that, even when my two adult sons are functioning well, there is a part of me that is waiting for the other shoe to drop. That is natural. He is who he is. He will do what he will do. You can choose to worry about it and blame yourself or you can choose to move on. Easy for me to say, I know.</p><p> </p><p>As far as finding a significant other, I really believe that until we love ourselves, it is impossible for somebody else to love us. A real love does not fill the holes we have in our soul; they complement what is already there. </p><p> </p><p>You have had to deal with Matt's issues, your sister's loss, a major move, health issues, and lots of other stuff. That is enough to kill most people but you are still here fighting. You are strong but even the strongest of us can be laid low at times. Don't lose faith. It will get better. </p><p> </p><p>Working 12 hours a day may be OK right now; it gives you a focus. I hope that is not still the sum total of your life in a year but for now, it keeps you going. </p><p> </p><p>As far as wanting a "normal life" - I'm not sure anybody has that, and the people who do are probably bored silly. Sometimes the best you can do is just take the next breath and put one foot in front of the other. As long as you keep going, there is hope. Don't give up. When things are really down, just look up as the only direction you can go. Things do improve, even though at times it feels like it goes on forever. Try to enjoy the little things (the sunset; a flower; the funny customer). The bigger things will follow eventually.</p><p>Good luck.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="muttmeister, post: 284304, member: 135"] Sending hugs your way. I don't have any big answers for you but I do know that, after all you've been through, there are no quick fixes, professional or not. They say time heals all wounds. I'm not sure it heals them but in time we do develop enough scar tissue to get on with our lives and function. With Matt, you have a right to feel worried. I have to admit that, even when my two adult sons are functioning well, there is a part of me that is waiting for the other shoe to drop. That is natural. He is who he is. He will do what he will do. You can choose to worry about it and blame yourself or you can choose to move on. Easy for me to say, I know. As far as finding a significant other, I really believe that until we love ourselves, it is impossible for somebody else to love us. A real love does not fill the holes we have in our soul; they complement what is already there. You have had to deal with Matt's issues, your sister's loss, a major move, health issues, and lots of other stuff. That is enough to kill most people but you are still here fighting. You are strong but even the strongest of us can be laid low at times. Don't lose faith. It will get better. Working 12 hours a day may be OK right now; it gives you a focus. I hope that is not still the sum total of your life in a year but for now, it keeps you going. As far as wanting a "normal life" - I'm not sure anybody has that, and the people who do are probably bored silly. Sometimes the best you can do is just take the next breath and put one foot in front of the other. As long as you keep going, there is hope. Don't give up. When things are really down, just look up as the only direction you can go. Things do improve, even though at times it feels like it goes on forever. Try to enjoy the little things (the sunset; a flower; the funny customer). The bigger things will follow eventually. Good luck. [/QUOTE]
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