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<blockquote data-quote="Echolette" data-source="post: 691654" data-attributes="member: 17269"><p>Ah, here is the crux of the matter, no?</p><p></p><p>My SO is very consistent and helpful on this topic. He says, without judgement, that sometimes we are in a place that we can do these things without hurting ourselves, and sometimes we are not. And sometimes when I am not in that place, he is and can do it for me. And sometimes no one can and then it is on Difficult Child (this is usually the case). SO really normalizes this process for me, makes me understand that just because I have been doing it one way for a while it doesn't mean I can't do it differently today, and that if I do it differently today it doesn't mean I must continue this new way, or that the old way has failed. Just...that I am free to pick the path best for me, and that he (SO) will sometimes pick up the load when he can do so without harm to himself or to us. </p><p></p><p>This all feels pretty healthy to me. </p><p></p><p>There are no easy answers here. Just...we need to be kind to ourselves and each other, and not be to hard on ourselves. Or each other.</p><p></p><p>Echo</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Echolette, post: 691654, member: 17269"] Ah, here is the crux of the matter, no? My SO is very consistent and helpful on this topic. He says, without judgement, that sometimes we are in a place that we can do these things without hurting ourselves, and sometimes we are not. And sometimes when I am not in that place, he is and can do it for me. And sometimes no one can and then it is on Difficult Child (this is usually the case). SO really normalizes this process for me, makes me understand that just because I have been doing it one way for a while it doesn't mean I can't do it differently today, and that if I do it differently today it doesn't mean I must continue this new way, or that the old way has failed. Just...that I am free to pick the path best for me, and that he (SO) will sometimes pick up the load when he can do so without harm to himself or to us. This all feels pretty healthy to me. There are no easy answers here. Just...we need to be kind to ourselves and each other, and not be to hard on ourselves. Or each other. Echo [/QUOTE]
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