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General Parenting
I am not meant to parent an AS teen...really!
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<blockquote data-quote="Martie" data-source="post: 10500" data-attributes="member: 284"><p>DDD,</p><p></p><p>I'm a bit with Marg on this one--I wouldn't promise him the trip but if it's fear of flying, it's his problem, not your "no" that is stopping him.</p><p></p><p>Granted my ex-difficult child is not on the spectrum, but his thoughts were a bit unusual when he was younger (they may still be but he has the judgement not to share them??) and I could often use his fears and distorted thinking to motivate him to try things that otherwise would never have been an option due to his combination of anxiety/ODD. Ex-difficult child feared flying and that was the only way he was going to get to a music camp. He flew a "test" flight to his uncle in Cleveland and then went to camp (at age 11.)</p><p></p><p>RE: social skills--that may be different in our case, too. Ex-difficult child seemed to HAVE social skills, but he did not have friends to use them with. I could also use his desires to do certain things motivate him into social situations where he had to use his social skills and interact with kids his own age.</p><p></p><p>Just a thought....Maybe somethings never change. Ex-difficult child wants to go to Korea this summer on a heavily subsidized trip. He is procrastianting on the essay... I reminded him once--got my head bitten off, and I won't ask again. I wonder why he still procrastinates? Is this residual gfgness, or is it "normal?" At one level, I certainly believe he wants to go to Korea, at another--is he anxious? It's only a one page statement...but it's not done.</p><p></p><p>O well-----natural consequences have moved him a long way. </p><p></p><p>Good luck in working with this issue.</p><p></p><p>Martie</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Martie, post: 10500, member: 284"] DDD, I'm a bit with Marg on this one--I wouldn't promise him the trip but if it's fear of flying, it's his problem, not your "no" that is stopping him. Granted my ex-difficult child is not on the spectrum, but his thoughts were a bit unusual when he was younger (they may still be but he has the judgement not to share them??) and I could often use his fears and distorted thinking to motivate him to try things that otherwise would never have been an option due to his combination of anxiety/ODD. Ex-difficult child feared flying and that was the only way he was going to get to a music camp. He flew a "test" flight to his uncle in Cleveland and then went to camp (at age 11.) RE: social skills--that may be different in our case, too. Ex-difficult child seemed to HAVE social skills, but he did not have friends to use them with. I could also use his desires to do certain things motivate him into social situations where he had to use his social skills and interact with kids his own age. Just a thought....Maybe somethings never change. Ex-difficult child wants to go to Korea this summer on a heavily subsidized trip. He is procrastianting on the essay... I reminded him once--got my head bitten off, and I won't ask again. I wonder why he still procrastinates? Is this residual gfgness, or is it "normal?" At one level, I certainly believe he wants to go to Korea, at another--is he anxious? It's only a one page statement...but it's not done. O well-----natural consequences have moved him a long way. Good luck in working with this issue. Martie [/QUOTE]
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I am not meant to parent an AS teen...really!
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