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I am sad and desperate and hopeless again
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<blockquote data-quote="Triedntrue" data-source="post: 745448" data-attributes="member: 21499"><p>Copa i am sorry you are having such a hard time right now .i saw a couple of positive signs in your post. It is good that your son does not want to be in a high drug traffic area. It shows that he wants to take care of himself. He also said he was going to check into the neuropsychiatrist. </p><p>My husband tells me that when i give him too many tasks at once he is overwhelmed so he doesn't do any of them. Maybe that is the case with your son. You list dr. , neuro, housing, meet to make a plan. Maybe it would be best to let him concentrate on one thing at a time and when that has been accomplished move to the next. I am not saying your expectations are wrong but looking at them all at once may be overwhelming. </p><p>You may be doing the same thing to yourself you want to fix everything and you want to do it now which may be adding to your stress. Pick something to focus on and work on that. Give yourself a break and clear your mind so you can make good decisions about not just what is best for your son but what is best for you. If that is having him move in so be it but allow yourself to consider options like section 8 as well. You also said you are missing m. You may need to allow yourself to consider the consequences to allowing your son to move in and how that might effect your ability to fix your relationship with m. You talk about wanting your son to be independent . One thing that i have noticed with my son is that the more help i withdraw he learns to solve his own problems. I still want him to be successful but am learning slowly to say not my life not my problem. I still worry and sometimes freak out but it is a process. Step back and breathe. Your son has found ways to be warm and relatively safe. Not what you would choose but his choice. Hope you are able to find peace with whatever you decide and whatever he decides even if is is not the same decision.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Triedntrue, post: 745448, member: 21499"] Copa i am sorry you are having such a hard time right now .i saw a couple of positive signs in your post. It is good that your son does not want to be in a high drug traffic area. It shows that he wants to take care of himself. He also said he was going to check into the neuropsychiatrist. My husband tells me that when i give him too many tasks at once he is overwhelmed so he doesn't do any of them. Maybe that is the case with your son. You list dr. , neuro, housing, meet to make a plan. Maybe it would be best to let him concentrate on one thing at a time and when that has been accomplished move to the next. I am not saying your expectations are wrong but looking at them all at once may be overwhelming. You may be doing the same thing to yourself you want to fix everything and you want to do it now which may be adding to your stress. Pick something to focus on and work on that. Give yourself a break and clear your mind so you can make good decisions about not just what is best for your son but what is best for you. If that is having him move in so be it but allow yourself to consider options like section 8 as well. You also said you are missing m. You may need to allow yourself to consider the consequences to allowing your son to move in and how that might effect your ability to fix your relationship with m. You talk about wanting your son to be independent . One thing that i have noticed with my son is that the more help i withdraw he learns to solve his own problems. I still want him to be successful but am learning slowly to say not my life not my problem. I still worry and sometimes freak out but it is a process. Step back and breathe. Your son has found ways to be warm and relatively safe. Not what you would choose but his choice. Hope you are able to find peace with whatever you decide and whatever he decides even if is is not the same decision. [/QUOTE]
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