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Parent Emeritus
I am sad and desperate and hopeless again
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<blockquote data-quote="Lil" data-source="post: 745514" data-attributes="member: 17309"><p>Oh my...well...I have no other ideas. All the counselors we've ever been to helped us come to terms with our sons behavior. They were usually psychologist or licensed counselors or social workers, not psychiatrists. I don't know what to say or who to suggest you see if that is a problem. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /> </p><p></p><p>I forgot the hoodie.</p><p></p><p>Copa, this is my take on the hoodie since I got to thinking about it. - He SAYS he wears to hoodie - hood up of course - because of his hair. I don't believe that's true. I think he wears it to upset/scare/put-off people. </p><p></p><p>My son lives in hoodies too - but he wears his stupid beanie and does NOT put the hood up. Think about it. If you live in the USA you KNOW the connotations that a hoodie, with the hood up, has when worn by a young man. You know that people assume druggie or gang or thief or just thug. Appropriate or not, that's what people think. There have been more than one news story about young men wearing hoodies and the reaction of people to those men. Race has been thrown up in most stories, but it really has little to do with it. Any young man, hood up, unless it's raining or snowing, that's where people's minds go. Heck, a man with the hood up has been a "threatening" thing since the Unabomber.</p><p></p><p>I guarantee, all young men know this.</p><p></p><p>It's easy to put on a beanie or a scarf or a ball cap to hide your thinning hair. If you insist on a hoodie, you know it will keep people at arms length. For some reason, he wants it that way. </p><p></p><p>I could be completely off base, but if I'm right, he'll quit wearing the hoodie when he is ready to seem approachable and not before. </p><p></p><p>I hope, with all my heart, that your meeting goes well.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lil, post: 745514, member: 17309"] Oh my...well...I have no other ideas. All the counselors we've ever been to helped us come to terms with our sons behavior. They were usually psychologist or licensed counselors or social workers, not psychiatrists. I don't know what to say or who to suggest you see if that is a problem. :( I forgot the hoodie. Copa, this is my take on the hoodie since I got to thinking about it. - He SAYS he wears to hoodie - hood up of course - because of his hair. I don't believe that's true. I think he wears it to upset/scare/put-off people. My son lives in hoodies too - but he wears his stupid beanie and does NOT put the hood up. Think about it. If you live in the USA you KNOW the connotations that a hoodie, with the hood up, has when worn by a young man. You know that people assume druggie or gang or thief or just thug. Appropriate or not, that's what people think. There have been more than one news story about young men wearing hoodies and the reaction of people to those men. Race has been thrown up in most stories, but it really has little to do with it. Any young man, hood up, unless it's raining or snowing, that's where people's minds go. Heck, a man with the hood up has been a "threatening" thing since the Unabomber. I guarantee, all young men know this. It's easy to put on a beanie or a scarf or a ball cap to hide your thinning hair. If you insist on a hoodie, you know it will keep people at arms length. For some reason, he wants it that way. I could be completely off base, but if I'm right, he'll quit wearing the hoodie when he is ready to seem approachable and not before. I hope, with all my heart, that your meeting goes well. [/QUOTE]
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