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Parent Emeritus
I am sad and desperate and hopeless again
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 745574" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I dont think they set out to hurt us either. Nor sometimes other people we love who are not willing or able to follow through with a commitment. They may mean to come when they make the plans. Then the day comes when they realise they have somewhere to go and someone to talk to who may give them a bit of grief. It isnt an inviting prospect so no rush getting ready to go.</p><p></p><p>They are tired.</p><p></p><p>They feel lazy.</p><p></p><p>They arent used to work schedules and structure and dont feel good about traveling to meet somebody at a certain time. Their lives are not about meeting obligations. Their lives are about hanging out and moving only when they want to move.</p><p></p><p>They start talking to someone nearby and time passes and they arent used to paying attention to a clock.</p><p></p><p>Somehow they remember they are supposed to be somewhere else. Yikes!</p><p></p><p>They wonder how to get out of the commitment. And they dont know how. And prefer to evade problems of their own doing which can stress them out if they are scolded. </p><p></p><p> So they just dont show up or they make a few lame calls and excuses. We are there, nervous. We wait until we are sure they wont come. It is always a blow.</p><p></p><p>I really think a lot of the no shows are about laziness. And not wanting to hear "it" whatever they think "it" will be. It just tires them out....the thought.</p><p></p><p>While its not usually personal, its not acceptable either. At some point dont we need to plan our future with those we can trust? Dont we deserve it?</p><p></p><p>I wish I had magic answers. For everyone.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 745574, member: 1550"] I dont think they set out to hurt us either. Nor sometimes other people we love who are not willing or able to follow through with a commitment. They may mean to come when they make the plans. Then the day comes when they realise they have somewhere to go and someone to talk to who may give them a bit of grief. It isnt an inviting prospect so no rush getting ready to go. They are tired. They feel lazy. They arent used to work schedules and structure and dont feel good about traveling to meet somebody at a certain time. Their lives are not about meeting obligations. Their lives are about hanging out and moving only when they want to move. They start talking to someone nearby and time passes and they arent used to paying attention to a clock. Somehow they remember they are supposed to be somewhere else. Yikes! They wonder how to get out of the commitment. And they dont know how. And prefer to evade problems of their own doing which can stress them out if they are scolded. So they just dont show up or they make a few lame calls and excuses. We are there, nervous. We wait until we are sure they wont come. It is always a blow. I really think a lot of the no shows are about laziness. And not wanting to hear "it" whatever they think "it" will be. It just tires them out....the thought. While its not usually personal, its not acceptable either. At some point dont we need to plan our future with those we can trust? Dont we deserve it? I wish I had magic answers. For everyone. [/QUOTE]
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I am sad and desperate and hopeless again
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