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Parent Emeritus
I am sad and desperate and hopeless again
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 745705" data-attributes="member: 4152"><p>Totally get that “illusion,” idea.</p><p>It might be a tiny bit different in other situations. Teeeeeny Tinyyyyy. But I have found when dealing with our mentally ill child, there is no way I can get her to do something she doesn’t want to do. I MIGHT be able to get her to do something very temporarily for a big reward. But, even if the benefit for her was great, it will not be something she will do on her own or might even think to do on her own again.</p><p></p><p>Also SWOT said that she didn’t believe you can get somebody to do something they don’t truly want to do. That pained me. Why????? Because it’s accurate. My daughter in law did something a bit rude on FB. I hosted that huge TG dinner for her. She didn’t want us all to be separated. She wanted to be near her joined at the hip relative. I found out later her mom is insanely jealous of me. So, even though she is sort of the family FB person and always says who hosted the holiday event complete with photos, we were conspicuously absent from photos and any mention that we hosted. Oddly, I’m not sure her mom outright asked her to do this. But she knew this is what her mom wanted. Well, this is a twist on what we are accustomed to here. Her mom has a creepy control over her and not in a healthy way. We are not talking about going to the doctor, taking your medications, improving yourself. We are talking about hurting others.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 745705, member: 4152"] Totally get that “illusion,” idea. It might be a tiny bit different in other situations. Teeeeeny Tinyyyyy. But I have found when dealing with our mentally ill child, there is no way I can get her to do something she doesn’t want to do. I MIGHT be able to get her to do something very temporarily for a big reward. But, even if the benefit for her was great, it will not be something she will do on her own or might even think to do on her own again. Also SWOT said that she didn’t believe you can get somebody to do something they don’t truly want to do. That pained me. Why????? Because it’s accurate. My daughter in law did something a bit rude on FB. I hosted that huge TG dinner for her. She didn’t want us all to be separated. She wanted to be near her joined at the hip relative. I found out later her mom is insanely jealous of me. So, even though she is sort of the family FB person and always says who hosted the holiday event complete with photos, we were conspicuously absent from photos and any mention that we hosted. Oddly, I’m not sure her mom outright asked her to do this. But she knew this is what her mom wanted. Well, this is a twist on what we are accustomed to here. Her mom has a creepy control over her and not in a healthy way. We are not talking about going to the doctor, taking your medications, improving yourself. We are talking about hurting others. [/QUOTE]
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I am sad and desperate and hopeless again
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