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I am sad and desperate and hopeless again
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<blockquote data-quote="elizabrary" data-source="post: 745729" data-attributes="member: 11235"><p>I used to be addicted to drama too. I grew up in a home filled with constant conflict and drama. As I became an adult if there wasn't conflict in my life I would create some. It was a terrible way to live, but I really didn't know any differently and I was addicted to the constant adrenaline rush. With my daughter it became so intense and created such fear in me that I felt like I was going to jump out of my skin and hyperventilate and die. It was too, too much. Around the same time that she was having her baby with her abusive boyfriend I got out of my second marriage which was also abusive (no surprise there). I was so physically uncomfortable and emotionally drained I was on the brink of suicide. I crashed at work one day and left to drive directly to our local domestic violence shelter. A counselor spoke with me right away and invited me to their weekly women's support group. That group saved my life. I was supported by staff and the other women who had been through situations similar to me. I learned about boundaries and how to treat myself in a loving way. I learned that the situations I had survived were not my fault- which I had always felt like they were. As I healed I mentored new members and that helped me as well. I moved to a house on a lake and spent lots of time out in nature with my dogs. I worked hard to change my patterns of thinking and responding. I worked hard to create and maintain healthy boundaries. I learned to trust myself and my feelings. If a situation feels bad, I get out. When people with negative energy enter my space I get away from them. I'm not perfect and I still have bad days, but my life is hella better than it's ever been. I have worked hard to create peace and balance in my life and I enjoy every minute of it. It's also made me much more selfish, which in my case is a good thing. Copa I hope you find something like I did that can help you break your cycle of stress and drama.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="elizabrary, post: 745729, member: 11235"] I used to be addicted to drama too. I grew up in a home filled with constant conflict and drama. As I became an adult if there wasn't conflict in my life I would create some. It was a terrible way to live, but I really didn't know any differently and I was addicted to the constant adrenaline rush. With my daughter it became so intense and created such fear in me that I felt like I was going to jump out of my skin and hyperventilate and die. It was too, too much. Around the same time that she was having her baby with her abusive boyfriend I got out of my second marriage which was also abusive (no surprise there). I was so physically uncomfortable and emotionally drained I was on the brink of suicide. I crashed at work one day and left to drive directly to our local domestic violence shelter. A counselor spoke with me right away and invited me to their weekly women's support group. That group saved my life. I was supported by staff and the other women who had been through situations similar to me. I learned about boundaries and how to treat myself in a loving way. I learned that the situations I had survived were not my fault- which I had always felt like they were. As I healed I mentored new members and that helped me as well. I moved to a house on a lake and spent lots of time out in nature with my dogs. I worked hard to change my patterns of thinking and responding. I worked hard to create and maintain healthy boundaries. I learned to trust myself and my feelings. If a situation feels bad, I get out. When people with negative energy enter my space I get away from them. I'm not perfect and I still have bad days, but my life is hella better than it's ever been. I have worked hard to create peace and balance in my life and I enjoy every minute of it. It's also made me much more selfish, which in my case is a good thing. Copa I hope you find something like I did that can help you break your cycle of stress and drama. [/QUOTE]
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