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I am sad and desperate and hopeless again
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<blockquote data-quote="Tired out" data-source="post: 745820" data-attributes="member: 23103"><p>Copa. The long and the short of it is. YOU have to step back and let go. You have to say "whatever will be will be" and be happy for each day and for yourself, for whatever you can find joy in.</p><p>I was upset/sad? that my son hold this attitude that everything is his dad's fault when maybe (pushing it) 2% could maybe be his dad's fault. Dad isn't all warm, all accepting like mom. Dad expects a particular standard. (I find that ironic because he himself was more like Ben at Ben's age, not a thief but not driven either, he blames that on HIS dad..ironic? His dad was not encouraging--I can attest to that) Hubs evolved to being driven with high standards. MY dad had a lot to do with that. Anyhow. I was upset becasue of Ben blaming his dad. I decided. Hey. It's not my problem. Let it go. I used to text Ben and started to worry if I didn't her back within 20 minutes of so. Many times it would be days. Now I decided not to text at all unless he texts me. Then I will answer when <u><em><strong>I feel like it and NOT before!</strong></em></u> HA! what's good for the goose.</p><p>Also I ask myself. "Do I really want him to come over?" the truthful answer is "NO". he is too stressful. I felt bad he wasn't here for Christmas, but realized it wouldn't be good so why did I want him here? Control? because that's the way it should be? Because I wanted to know where he is? BINGO. Control.</p><p>So for you..unless you get a call saying , "help, you are needed at the hospital." RELAX. Enjoy life. take care of yourself. You are responsible for YOU. You aren't responsible for J. You have given him the tools and the resources are there.</p><p></p><p>Tanya is spot on! for J and for Ben.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tired out, post: 745820, member: 23103"] Copa. The long and the short of it is. YOU have to step back and let go. You have to say "whatever will be will be" and be happy for each day and for yourself, for whatever you can find joy in. I was upset/sad? that my son hold this attitude that everything is his dad's fault when maybe (pushing it) 2% could maybe be his dad's fault. Dad isn't all warm, all accepting like mom. Dad expects a particular standard. (I find that ironic because he himself was more like Ben at Ben's age, not a thief but not driven either, he blames that on HIS dad..ironic? His dad was not encouraging--I can attest to that) Hubs evolved to being driven with high standards. MY dad had a lot to do with that. Anyhow. I was upset becasue of Ben blaming his dad. I decided. Hey. It's not my problem. Let it go. I used to text Ben and started to worry if I didn't her back within 20 minutes of so. Many times it would be days. Now I decided not to text at all unless he texts me. Then I will answer when [U][I][B]I feel like it and NOT before![/B][/I][/U] HA! what's good for the goose. Also I ask myself. "Do I really want him to come over?" the truthful answer is "NO". he is too stressful. I felt bad he wasn't here for Christmas, but realized it wouldn't be good so why did I want him here? Control? because that's the way it should be? Because I wanted to know where he is? BINGO. Control. So for you..unless you get a call saying , "help, you are needed at the hospital." RELAX. Enjoy life. take care of yourself. You are responsible for YOU. You aren't responsible for J. You have given him the tools and the resources are there. Tanya is spot on! for J and for Ben. [/QUOTE]
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