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Parent Emeritus
I am sad and desperate and hopeless again
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 745873" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Your role in my opinion as the mom of an adult is to have a friendship. Yes, it is hard to do that with some of the adults who bring us here. They act youmg and do t work so there are few topics to be friendly about. But "So whats new" and just listening always works.</p><p></p><p>I have Friend Mom conversations with all my kids, even Bart quite often. Giving advice or judgment is not part of our dialogue.</p><p></p><p>Now my adult kids, to be fair, are not struggling on the streets and if I disagree with something they do it is minor and I let it go. But even on a more critical scale, .what more can we be to an adult child than a friend? Adults dont listen to us. As we did not listen to our parents. Did we? At 20? At 30? No. So I feel our role with an adult most of the time, unless they ask for our feedback, is to be a strong, loving friend. We get nowhere telling them what to do.</p><p></p><p>My best times with my kids, especially my girls, is eating out, shopping, listening to their lives, making jokes, and lighthearted chit chat.</p><p></p><p>There was a wise lady from the UK here once. Her son wanted to live in the wild with trees and other hippie types. She had wanted uni and convention for him and I believe better hygiene too. But she learned to accept his radical values and lifestyle and their relationship is I recall, improved and so did her nerves.</p><p></p><p>I think that was brave and smart of her.</p><p></p><p>Love to all and hugs and light</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 745873, member: 1550"] Your role in my opinion as the mom of an adult is to have a friendship. Yes, it is hard to do that with some of the adults who bring us here. They act youmg and do t work so there are few topics to be friendly about. But "So whats new" and just listening always works. I have Friend Mom conversations with all my kids, even Bart quite often. Giving advice or judgment is not part of our dialogue. Now my adult kids, to be fair, are not struggling on the streets and if I disagree with something they do it is minor and I let it go. But even on a more critical scale, .what more can we be to an adult child than a friend? Adults dont listen to us. As we did not listen to our parents. Did we? At 20? At 30? No. So I feel our role with an adult most of the time, unless they ask for our feedback, is to be a strong, loving friend. We get nowhere telling them what to do. My best times with my kids, especially my girls, is eating out, shopping, listening to their lives, making jokes, and lighthearted chit chat. There was a wise lady from the UK here once. Her son wanted to live in the wild with trees and other hippie types. She had wanted uni and convention for him and I believe better hygiene too. But she learned to accept his radical values and lifestyle and their relationship is I recall, improved and so did her nerves. I think that was brave and smart of her. Love to all and hugs and light [/QUOTE]
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