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Parent Emeritus
I am sad and desperate and hopeless again
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 746095" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I think the most respectful thing would be to buy something that would buy for any other person who had helped you in a scrape when you really needed help. I think that a gift certificate is always welcome. People are giving each other gift certificates all of the time. The thing is this: is this a coffee shop he would be comfortable going to and that would welcome him? It is not always clear where somebody feels comfortable and where somebody is accepted.</p><p></p><p>And then there is the subject of dignity. Now. My son would be insensitive to that. But to me, it matters. People at the supermarket where I live have taken up my son as a cause. It really bothers me that it does not bother him. But that's me. I recognize that.</p><p></p><p>I would not go to thrift shops. Nor would I buy essential foods. You don't know where he lives and what kind of storage facility he has. However practical and humane this would be, you are recognizing his humanity and dignity as a person, not his basic needs, which I think could be demeaning. </p><p></p><p>I don't know how much money you were thinking of for the gift certificate. I would give the certificate in a card, with a lovely note. I think he would appreciate it very much. The only other thing I might think about is for the same amount, more or less, you can buy an MP3 player, or a good flashlight. Something like this would be a gift, not a handout. With the card.</p><p></p><p>If I did buy clothes it would be new ones. Something like excellent wool socks or an excellent wool hat. Both of these things would be wonderful. Or both.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 746095, member: 18958"] I think the most respectful thing would be to buy something that would buy for any other person who had helped you in a scrape when you really needed help. I think that a gift certificate is always welcome. People are giving each other gift certificates all of the time. The thing is this: is this a coffee shop he would be comfortable going to and that would welcome him? It is not always clear where somebody feels comfortable and where somebody is accepted. And then there is the subject of dignity. Now. My son would be insensitive to that. But to me, it matters. People at the supermarket where I live have taken up my son as a cause. It really bothers me that it does not bother him. But that's me. I recognize that. I would not go to thrift shops. Nor would I buy essential foods. You don't know where he lives and what kind of storage facility he has. However practical and humane this would be, you are recognizing his humanity and dignity as a person, not his basic needs, which I think could be demeaning. I don't know how much money you were thinking of for the gift certificate. I would give the certificate in a card, with a lovely note. I think he would appreciate it very much. The only other thing I might think about is for the same amount, more or less, you can buy an MP3 player, or a good flashlight. Something like this would be a gift, not a handout. With the card. If I did buy clothes it would be new ones. Something like excellent wool socks or an excellent wool hat. Both of these things would be wonderful. Or both. [/QUOTE]
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