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I am snapping in two - or should I say into
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 437489" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>((((((((((hugs))))))))))</p><p></p><p>I can only imagine how awful you are feeling. Grief is so painful, and you have tried to be strong and supportive for everyone else and not gotten much emotional support from anyone else. You must feel terribly used by your family. Maybe even by Matt in some ways.</p><p></p><p>The numbness you are feeling is probably the only way you can find to protect yourself. Matt is acting out partly because his own grief and also because he has to feel how the family has rejected him. No way could he not have picked that up over the years. He is likely pushing you away before you can push him away, on some level at least.</p><p></p><p>It is time to start living for yourself. Let Matt figure things out for himself. Let your mom handle her own stuff. She is an adult too. You have been so hurt for so long by so many people that you were due to snap. Start being "selfish" and putting yoruself first when you make decisions. If Matt's dogs are too much to handle, tell him to find a place for them and ship them to him. He is an adult and they are HIS problem. If he cannot take them, find them a new home. He is the one who got so attached and then decided to go take a trip wtihout them. That is a logical consequence for cursing out your mother - she isn't willing to babysit your pets and your stuff. Maybe he needs to learn that lesson. If he really loves and wants the dogs, he will find a way to care for them and get them to wherever he is.</p><p></p><p>Stop buffering him from the family. It is NOT YOUR JOB. He is now an adult and so are the other family members. They need to tell HIM how they feel and work out their own relationship. WHen he was a child it was your job to buffer, but it isn't anymore.</p><p></p><p>Stop and think about what would make YOU happy? Or content. Find a place to live that has access to a good psychiatrist and therapist. Get some help for yourself and put yoruself first. You are a wonderful person and I have been awed by your strength. I would have had a breakdown long before this, as would many people. Start caring for YOU first and others down the priority list.</p><p></p><p>We love you and we won't throw you out if you cannot do for us. No matter what anyone else demands of you.</p><p></p><p>(((((hugs)))))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 437489, member: 1233"] ((((((((((hugs)))))))))) I can only imagine how awful you are feeling. Grief is so painful, and you have tried to be strong and supportive for everyone else and not gotten much emotional support from anyone else. You must feel terribly used by your family. Maybe even by Matt in some ways. The numbness you are feeling is probably the only way you can find to protect yourself. Matt is acting out partly because his own grief and also because he has to feel how the family has rejected him. No way could he not have picked that up over the years. He is likely pushing you away before you can push him away, on some level at least. It is time to start living for yourself. Let Matt figure things out for himself. Let your mom handle her own stuff. She is an adult too. You have been so hurt for so long by so many people that you were due to snap. Start being "selfish" and putting yoruself first when you make decisions. If Matt's dogs are too much to handle, tell him to find a place for them and ship them to him. He is an adult and they are HIS problem. If he cannot take them, find them a new home. He is the one who got so attached and then decided to go take a trip wtihout them. That is a logical consequence for cursing out your mother - she isn't willing to babysit your pets and your stuff. Maybe he needs to learn that lesson. If he really loves and wants the dogs, he will find a way to care for them and get them to wherever he is. Stop buffering him from the family. It is NOT YOUR JOB. He is now an adult and so are the other family members. They need to tell HIM how they feel and work out their own relationship. WHen he was a child it was your job to buffer, but it isn't anymore. Stop and think about what would make YOU happy? Or content. Find a place to live that has access to a good psychiatrist and therapist. Get some help for yourself and put yoruself first. You are a wonderful person and I have been awed by your strength. I would have had a breakdown long before this, as would many people. Start caring for YOU first and others down the priority list. We love you and we won't throw you out if you cannot do for us. No matter what anyone else demands of you. (((((hugs))))) [/QUOTE]
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I am snapping in two - or should I say into
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