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I am so angry I'm shaking inside
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 452539" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Being fat not a disability - it depends. But being a small-minded bigot definitely is not a disability. Sadly. because then maybe somebody would work on a cure for it.</p><p></p><p>I also have had this problem. My disability is also fairly invisible. I walked unsteadily to begin with, found my legs feeling weak but otherwise I was able to get there. But a friend lent me a walking stick and I found the support helped. So did the extra stability - if your knee hurts, you need to protect yourself from a greater risk of a fall, so there is your 'excuse' for a walking stick. Get an interesting one but make sure you feel confident in how to use it. </p><p></p><p>I actually use canada crutches. Or to be more accurate, one crutch mostly. Only for longer distances or if I'm really unsteady, do I use two. And over shorter distances or familiar ground, I do without. Increasingly lately, I do without. But in public, I ALWAYS use my stick. ALWAYS. Because it shuts up the idiots, or if it does not, it gives me something to threaten them with.</p><p></p><p>Our problems come about because our car seats up to eight people. I have a permit, so does mother in law. If either one of us is in the car, the permit (for either of us) may be used. My permit is always in place, it's too much hassle to keep it in the glove box. I might risk forgetting to put it up and get booked. But what happens if we go shopping, for example, and an able-bodied family member gets back to the car before mother in law or I do? husband or difficult child 3 will often take a trolley of groceries back to the car, and find himself getting hassled because someone gets cranky at an apparently able-bodied person using a disabled parking space. Or husband moves the car for me, from one end of the mall to another. He might have let me out at one end, I might be using my wheels and need access at the other end in an hour's time. But he is able-bodied and has been challenged parking the car in a disabled spot, clearly nobody disabled in the car, but he has moved it to make it accessible for me. It takes time to explain and it embarrasses him to have to. But he also knows that when people challenge, they are also making these spaces more available for those who really need them. Sometimes a challenge is valid, and if someone is abusing a permit, then a challenge can free up spaces for those who need them.</p><p></p><p>So how do we respond? Politely. Because often we are the ones getting cranky at inconsiderate people using disabled spots when they are not entitled to. A common thing here, is seeing someone in a disabled spot, with the driver sitting in the car. When challenged, the driver says, "I've just stopped here while my wife dashes in to get [X], I stayed with the car so I could move it if someone with a disabled permit came along."</p><p>My response to this generally is, "Here I am standing talking to you, I actually did drive up and waited briefly, I had my permit on the car highly visible, yet you did not move. So how is your sitting in the car going to help, here? I am standing here now, because I had to find another parking spot. But you didn't know that, did you?"</p><p></p><p>I also was challenged on another day by a woman in a wheelchair. The shopping centre is difficult to get a park in, I had a doctor's appointment and the disabled spot was there and I am entitled. But the woman in the wheelchair noted that I am able to walk, and this particular spot is the only one in the street with a usable wheelchair access. When she saw that I had a legal right she backed off, but I could see the poor woman's frustration. I suggested to her that we both need to lobby the relevant authorities to make more accessible spaces available.</p><p></p><p>I used to often walk along the lines of disabled parking spaces and check to see if they were displaying a permit. In shopping centres the law does not apply, they are considered private and our road rules only apply in public areas, not privately owned shopping centre car parks. The shopping centres do police it though, especially if someone tells them. The shopping centre can't dish out fines, but they do stick on a windscreen-sized brightly coloured "you have parked here against the rules" notice on the windscreen. You can't drive off with the thing there because it obscures all vision, and those things are darn sticky - we copped them a few times because husband insisted on displaying the permit in the side window due to a legal technicality, and some private and public parking cops would ticket first and check later.</p><p></p><p>I do find though, that often the people in the car next to me, both of us in disabled spots, are eyeing me off suspiciously just as I eye them off. I try to smile and say, "It is not easy to get access when you're disabled, is it?" I make a point of using my stick, this is not a time when I try to do without. Besides, I walk more naturally with a stick than without, my specialist yelled at me once for hobbling across a crowded room stiff-kneed instead of using my stick and being safer (we were at a medical convention). He said nothing at the time, just yelled at me next consult. Then referred me to a physiotherapist who told me the same stuff, only from professional expertise.</p><p></p><p>So use a stick. It will give you a better sense of stability - remember, the most stable number of legs is 3. A tripod. Two legs is unstable, when we walk we move from one point of imbalance to another. </p><p></p><p>As for the PT guy - whatever you believe his motives to be privately, give him the benefit of the doubt publicly. And answer all 'accusations' with a smile, and a finger pointing to your permit. Nothing more need be said, except maybe Star's reference to your doctor not wanting to lose his license for fraud.</p><p></p><p>The PT guy MAY be genuinely concerned that someone is abusing a permit. Sadly, it happens far too often. I keep hearing stories about "Aunty May has a disabled permit, let's borrow it so we can get a good parking spot at the laser tag place." Or Aunty May is normally in the car, but not today. However, the driver still parks in a disabled spot because the permit is there so why not use it?</p><p></p><p>Some people just don't know any better, and see a disabled permit in the family as a gold card to park where they want, regardless. The PT guy may think that is what is happening here, and just need to be reassured that it is not the case. No details needed just, "yes, I am the legitimate user of that permit. I do have a genuine need as assessed by my doctor."</p><p></p><p>And that should be the end of it.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 452539, member: 1991"] Being fat not a disability - it depends. But being a small-minded bigot definitely is not a disability. Sadly. because then maybe somebody would work on a cure for it. I also have had this problem. My disability is also fairly invisible. I walked unsteadily to begin with, found my legs feeling weak but otherwise I was able to get there. But a friend lent me a walking stick and I found the support helped. So did the extra stability - if your knee hurts, you need to protect yourself from a greater risk of a fall, so there is your 'excuse' for a walking stick. Get an interesting one but make sure you feel confident in how to use it. I actually use canada crutches. Or to be more accurate, one crutch mostly. Only for longer distances or if I'm really unsteady, do I use two. And over shorter distances or familiar ground, I do without. Increasingly lately, I do without. But in public, I ALWAYS use my stick. ALWAYS. Because it shuts up the idiots, or if it does not, it gives me something to threaten them with. Our problems come about because our car seats up to eight people. I have a permit, so does mother in law. If either one of us is in the car, the permit (for either of us) may be used. My permit is always in place, it's too much hassle to keep it in the glove box. I might risk forgetting to put it up and get booked. But what happens if we go shopping, for example, and an able-bodied family member gets back to the car before mother in law or I do? husband or difficult child 3 will often take a trolley of groceries back to the car, and find himself getting hassled because someone gets cranky at an apparently able-bodied person using a disabled parking space. Or husband moves the car for me, from one end of the mall to another. He might have let me out at one end, I might be using my wheels and need access at the other end in an hour's time. But he is able-bodied and has been challenged parking the car in a disabled spot, clearly nobody disabled in the car, but he has moved it to make it accessible for me. It takes time to explain and it embarrasses him to have to. But he also knows that when people challenge, they are also making these spaces more available for those who really need them. Sometimes a challenge is valid, and if someone is abusing a permit, then a challenge can free up spaces for those who need them. So how do we respond? Politely. Because often we are the ones getting cranky at inconsiderate people using disabled spots when they are not entitled to. A common thing here, is seeing someone in a disabled spot, with the driver sitting in the car. When challenged, the driver says, "I've just stopped here while my wife dashes in to get [X], I stayed with the car so I could move it if someone with a disabled permit came along." My response to this generally is, "Here I am standing talking to you, I actually did drive up and waited briefly, I had my permit on the car highly visible, yet you did not move. So how is your sitting in the car going to help, here? I am standing here now, because I had to find another parking spot. But you didn't know that, did you?" I also was challenged on another day by a woman in a wheelchair. The shopping centre is difficult to get a park in, I had a doctor's appointment and the disabled spot was there and I am entitled. But the woman in the wheelchair noted that I am able to walk, and this particular spot is the only one in the street with a usable wheelchair access. When she saw that I had a legal right she backed off, but I could see the poor woman's frustration. I suggested to her that we both need to lobby the relevant authorities to make more accessible spaces available. I used to often walk along the lines of disabled parking spaces and check to see if they were displaying a permit. In shopping centres the law does not apply, they are considered private and our road rules only apply in public areas, not privately owned shopping centre car parks. The shopping centres do police it though, especially if someone tells them. The shopping centre can't dish out fines, but they do stick on a windscreen-sized brightly coloured "you have parked here against the rules" notice on the windscreen. You can't drive off with the thing there because it obscures all vision, and those things are darn sticky - we copped them a few times because husband insisted on displaying the permit in the side window due to a legal technicality, and some private and public parking cops would ticket first and check later. I do find though, that often the people in the car next to me, both of us in disabled spots, are eyeing me off suspiciously just as I eye them off. I try to smile and say, "It is not easy to get access when you're disabled, is it?" I make a point of using my stick, this is not a time when I try to do without. Besides, I walk more naturally with a stick than without, my specialist yelled at me once for hobbling across a crowded room stiff-kneed instead of using my stick and being safer (we were at a medical convention). He said nothing at the time, just yelled at me next consult. Then referred me to a physiotherapist who told me the same stuff, only from professional expertise. So use a stick. It will give you a better sense of stability - remember, the most stable number of legs is 3. A tripod. Two legs is unstable, when we walk we move from one point of imbalance to another. As for the PT guy - whatever you believe his motives to be privately, give him the benefit of the doubt publicly. And answer all 'accusations' with a smile, and a finger pointing to your permit. Nothing more need be said, except maybe Star's reference to your doctor not wanting to lose his license for fraud. The PT guy MAY be genuinely concerned that someone is abusing a permit. Sadly, it happens far too often. I keep hearing stories about "Aunty May has a disabled permit, let's borrow it so we can get a good parking spot at the laser tag place." Or Aunty May is normally in the car, but not today. However, the driver still parks in a disabled spot because the permit is there so why not use it? Some people just don't know any better, and see a disabled permit in the family as a gold card to park where they want, regardless. The PT guy may think that is what is happening here, and just need to be reassured that it is not the case. No details needed just, "yes, I am the legitimate user of that permit. I do have a genuine need as assessed by my doctor." And that should be the end of it. Marg [/QUOTE]
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