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Substance Abuse
I am so sad
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<blockquote data-quote="Signorina" data-source="post: 511580"><p>Oh Nancy, I feel your pain and your worry and I share your sadness.</p><p></p><p>Your comment about your difficult child wanting to start her "real life" yet not having a clue about utilities, etc struck a familiar chord. My difficult child basically said the same thing. And I also felt that "a first apartment" should've been a celebratory milestone instead of this premature, messed up, rash act. In fact, I ran out to Big Lots & bought sundries-even dish towels for crying out loud- trying to turn it into the milestone I longed for. We all know how that ended...</p><p></p><p>I can only speak for my difficult child; but he's clueless. My dad used to love to say "there is a right order and a wrong order (to accomplishments), and in THIS family, we do things in the right order" (Yes, he mostly meant marriage before pregnancy-but it still resonated.) My difficult child wants the privileges of a "real life" without any of the responsibilities -without EARNING it. He is skipping over the very steps that make an independent life a doable reality. And I can't change it. Can't accept it. Can't fake thru it. I won't sell my soul and embrace his choices just to avoid losing him.</p><p></p><p>So - dear friend - YOU take it day by day. Try not to let your thoughts get too far ahead into the "what ifs." Stay grounded in reality but don't worry about what you can't prevent.</p><p>This is a loss- mourn the loss. But don't let it take you down. Stay busy. Set a timer to be blue and snap yourself out of it when the time is up. Fake it til you make it--lean on us. </p><p></p><p>And let's hope her good months stay with her and she realizes what she is losing - sooner rather than later. </p><p></p><p>{{{hugs}}}</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Signorina, post: 511580"] Oh Nancy, I feel your pain and your worry and I share your sadness. Your comment about your difficult child wanting to start her "real life" yet not having a clue about utilities, etc struck a familiar chord. My difficult child basically said the same thing. And I also felt that "a first apartment" should've been a celebratory milestone instead of this premature, messed up, rash act. In fact, I ran out to Big Lots & bought sundries-even dish towels for crying out loud- trying to turn it into the milestone I longed for. We all know how that ended... I can only speak for my difficult child; but he's clueless. My dad used to love to say "there is a right order and a wrong order (to accomplishments), and in THIS family, we do things in the right order" (Yes, he mostly meant marriage before pregnancy-but it still resonated.) My difficult child wants the privileges of a "real life" without any of the responsibilities -without EARNING it. He is skipping over the very steps that make an independent life a doable reality. And I can't change it. Can't accept it. Can't fake thru it. I won't sell my soul and embrace his choices just to avoid losing him. So - dear friend - YOU take it day by day. Try not to let your thoughts get too far ahead into the "what ifs." Stay grounded in reality but don't worry about what you can't prevent. This is a loss- mourn the loss. But don't let it take you down. Stay busy. Set a timer to be blue and snap yourself out of it when the time is up. Fake it til you make it--lean on us. And let's hope her good months stay with her and she realizes what she is losing - sooner rather than later. {{{hugs}}} [/QUOTE]
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I am so sad
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