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I am the worst daughter in the world
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<blockquote data-quote="BackintheSaddle" data-source="post: 619495" data-attributes="member: 17503"><p>Thanks for writing, OBO...I think you found a good group of people to give advice if you really want it...it's hard to tell the order of things but it sounds like guilt is eating you alive...suicide is not the answer-- if you worry about the expression on your father's face from seeing the credit card bills, just imagine what losing you forever would do to both of your parents? you seem able to have empathy for them and think about how they might feel...from what you describe, you mean the world to them and though they are strict, they have been there for you through some rough times...I think you should 'come clean' with them and tell them what happened...it was awhile ago (half a year), have you done anything to regret since or was that a turning point for you? you sound like you're truly sorry and want to change but need to face what you did in your recent past, thank your parents for all their support and demonstrate to them that you've changed...I'm sure you've seen people say in here that it's the actions not the words that matter...that's what tells people you really want to change and for things to be different...if I read your message right, you are working 2 jobs now and prioritizing paying off those debts, is that right? that will be important for them to know...I know for me that would go a long way in convincing me that you really want things to be different- if you're being honest with yourself about how hard you're working and what you're doing with your money...you have a history of abusing alcohol and you say your father got a delinquent payment notice...if you're working 2 jobs and prioritizing paying off those bills, how did the payment become delinquent?</p><p> </p><p>it sounds like you're in a really hard place of recognizing your past mistakes and what they've done to your parents...keep working on that...it's hard to face things we've done wrong but it's also a great way to grow up and better realize the woman you want to be...you can start living your dreams through your actions now...what are your values? do you want to be thought of as an honest woman who pays her debts and takes responsibility for her actions? what do you want people to see you as? I'm sure there are a lot of people who love you and would want you to get help for how you feel right now and want to support you through making positive changes</p><p> </p><p>I also wanted to ask if you've ever gotten counseling? you sound like you're really struggling and could be depressed to the point of really need medications...and some of your actions seem to suggest there might be other things going on...given how suicidal you feel, I hope you'll consider going right away somewhere to talk to someone...call the suicide hotline (<a href="http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/" target="_blank">http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/</a>)-- it's free, confidential, and the people you'd talk to would know how to help you...go to your local mental health center (or substance abuse treatment center if that's more what you need-- are you still drinking? using drugs?)...tell your parents just how bad you feel about this so they can help you...tell a friend, particularly someone older...don't let this mistake cause you to do something that would be far worse on your parents than any credit card debt</p><p> </p><p>I hope you'll keep posting so we can help you think things through...this is not a problem worth losing your life over...let's figure out together how you can get the help you need to completely change your life for the better...I'm sorry you're feeling so bad right now...but it will pass and you will feel better someday soon</p><p> </p><p>((((Hugs)))))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BackintheSaddle, post: 619495, member: 17503"] Thanks for writing, OBO...I think you found a good group of people to give advice if you really want it...it's hard to tell the order of things but it sounds like guilt is eating you alive...suicide is not the answer-- if you worry about the expression on your father's face from seeing the credit card bills, just imagine what losing you forever would do to both of your parents? you seem able to have empathy for them and think about how they might feel...from what you describe, you mean the world to them and though they are strict, they have been there for you through some rough times...I think you should 'come clean' with them and tell them what happened...it was awhile ago (half a year), have you done anything to regret since or was that a turning point for you? you sound like you're truly sorry and want to change but need to face what you did in your recent past, thank your parents for all their support and demonstrate to them that you've changed...I'm sure you've seen people say in here that it's the actions not the words that matter...that's what tells people you really want to change and for things to be different...if I read your message right, you are working 2 jobs now and prioritizing paying off those debts, is that right? that will be important for them to know...I know for me that would go a long way in convincing me that you really want things to be different- if you're being honest with yourself about how hard you're working and what you're doing with your money...you have a history of abusing alcohol and you say your father got a delinquent payment notice...if you're working 2 jobs and prioritizing paying off those bills, how did the payment become delinquent? it sounds like you're in a really hard place of recognizing your past mistakes and what they've done to your parents...keep working on that...it's hard to face things we've done wrong but it's also a great way to grow up and better realize the woman you want to be...you can start living your dreams through your actions now...what are your values? do you want to be thought of as an honest woman who pays her debts and takes responsibility for her actions? what do you want people to see you as? I'm sure there are a lot of people who love you and would want you to get help for how you feel right now and want to support you through making positive changes I also wanted to ask if you've ever gotten counseling? you sound like you're really struggling and could be depressed to the point of really need medications...and some of your actions seem to suggest there might be other things going on...given how suicidal you feel, I hope you'll consider going right away somewhere to talk to someone...call the suicide hotline ([url]http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/[/url])-- it's free, confidential, and the people you'd talk to would know how to help you...go to your local mental health center (or substance abuse treatment center if that's more what you need-- are you still drinking? using drugs?)...tell your parents just how bad you feel about this so they can help you...tell a friend, particularly someone older...don't let this mistake cause you to do something that would be far worse on your parents than any credit card debt I hope you'll keep posting so we can help you think things through...this is not a problem worth losing your life over...let's figure out together how you can get the help you need to completely change your life for the better...I'm sorry you're feeling so bad right now...but it will pass and you will feel better someday soon ((((Hugs))))) [/QUOTE]
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