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I bought my kid a tent today, he's homeless.
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 743130" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I can only speak to my own state because I am unaware of law in other states. In my state there are multiple consequences of a DUI. One of them is a fine. Another one can be incarceration. Another can be a suspended license for a long period of time. There are other indirect consequences: inability to be accepted into college; restrictions to working, etc. Judges set consequences. Mothers do not. Paying the fine does not take away the other consequences. The point here is that we all think differently about these things.</p><p></p><p>That said. I don't know what I would do. But in this case on this the horse is out of the barn. Maybe this discussion between us will help this mom clarify what she is thinking at this point. All of this is germane to what she is dealing with now.</p><p></p><p>I will not say if this mother made the right decision or not. We all of us are trying to finesse impossible situations where we are trying to steer a course where our own child is not forever damaged by stupid, immature or illegal behavior, and at the same time act responsibly. Not one parent wants others to be hurt. We are responsible to protect society at large from our children. (And many times we are legally responsible, too. Whether or not we face it.) </p><p></p><p>We cannot abide their behavior that hurts or could potentially hurt others. It is a juggling act. And not one of us has skill at this when we enter this horrible game. That your child or my child chose to confront their destructive behavior because you or I acted in a certain way, does not speak to that same path working in every situation. Each situation is different. Each child is different. Each parent is different.</p><p></p><p>Nobody wants anybody to drive drunk. Not this mother, not me, not you.</p><p></p><p>Just as you will not condone, I will not condemn. We are in agreement about the particulars. It is a stylistic difference.</p><p></p><p>I believe we have beaten this horse to death. This mother has many options. She will choose.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 743130, member: 18958"] I can only speak to my own state because I am unaware of law in other states. In my state there are multiple consequences of a DUI. One of them is a fine. Another one can be incarceration. Another can be a suspended license for a long period of time. There are other indirect consequences: inability to be accepted into college; restrictions to working, etc. Judges set consequences. Mothers do not. Paying the fine does not take away the other consequences. The point here is that we all think differently about these things. That said. I don't know what I would do. But in this case on this the horse is out of the barn. Maybe this discussion between us will help this mom clarify what she is thinking at this point. All of this is germane to what she is dealing with now. I will not say if this mother made the right decision or not. We all of us are trying to finesse impossible situations where we are trying to steer a course where our own child is not forever damaged by stupid, immature or illegal behavior, and at the same time act responsibly. Not one parent wants others to be hurt. We are responsible to protect society at large from our children. (And many times we are legally responsible, too. Whether or not we face it.) We cannot abide their behavior that hurts or could potentially hurt others. It is a juggling act. And not one of us has skill at this when we enter this horrible game. That your child or my child chose to confront their destructive behavior because you or I acted in a certain way, does not speak to that same path working in every situation. Each situation is different. Each child is different. Each parent is different. Nobody wants anybody to drive drunk. Not this mother, not me, not you. Just as you will not condone, I will not condemn. We are in agreement about the particulars. It is a stylistic difference. I believe we have beaten this horse to death. This mother has many options. She will choose. [/QUOTE]
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