Sensory Integration Disorder. That's why she doesn't like the seams. Because she has this, there could be other triggers setting her off.
And your ex sounds just like so many of our husbands or exes. SOOOO much.
I've given my daughter melatonin. She doesn't want to take it anymore either, so now I slip it into her food when she needs it.
Everybody here will give you wonderful advice.