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I contacted him after 5 days
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 739287" data-attributes="member: 15801"><p>I think I have somewhat of a different take on all of this. When we kicked my son out when he was 18 I was ready to write him off and wait for him to contact me. A therapist suggest I not do that, instead that I text him now and then to keep the door open but don’t invite him home!! Well its been 8 years since then and we certainly have been up and down on the roller coaster.... including time with him homeless and in jail. But it has kept the relationship there and when he has wanted and been ready for help he asks for it. I really believe that him knowing we love him, even with all of his screw ups, has helped keep him alive. </p><p></p><p>So I think there is nothing wrong with texting him now and then and asking how he is doing. Nothing wrong with letting him know you care and that you love him.</p><p></p><p>The trick is not getting too invested in his response.... it is his life and his journey and you cant figure it out for him. But nothing wrong with letting him know you are there in the background, loving him and willing to help him when he is ready for it.</p><p></p><p>And if he turns abusive then hang up the phone... certainly no reason to take his abuse.</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 739287, member: 15801"] I think I have somewhat of a different take on all of this. When we kicked my son out when he was 18 I was ready to write him off and wait for him to contact me. A therapist suggest I not do that, instead that I text him now and then to keep the door open but don’t invite him home!! Well its been 8 years since then and we certainly have been up and down on the roller coaster.... including time with him homeless and in jail. But it has kept the relationship there and when he has wanted and been ready for help he asks for it. I really believe that him knowing we love him, even with all of his screw ups, has helped keep him alive. So I think there is nothing wrong with texting him now and then and asking how he is doing. Nothing wrong with letting him know you care and that you love him. The trick is not getting too invested in his response.... it is his life and his journey and you cant figure it out for him. But nothing wrong with letting him know you are there in the background, loving him and willing to help him when he is ready for it. And if he turns abusive then hang up the phone... certainly no reason to take his abuse. TL [/QUOTE]
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