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<blockquote data-quote="Ironbutterfly" data-source="post: 722655" data-attributes="member: 19951"><p>Many of us started as you, with a Difficult Child with issues of varying degrees, everyone has a different story but really the same plot. Our Difficult Child's have issues, mental, emotional, drugs, bipolar, personality disorders, rages, sense of entitlement when they don't get what they want, failure to make a break from the family or friends. We too, were scared to take the first of many steps, set limits, give them many chances, find and get them doctor's, rehab. Then we get to the point of kicking them out of the house, then no money for phones, cars, drugs, etc. Some get to the point where they have to call the police and file charges. Then the parents who have Difficult Child's who are in jail for months to years. Then sadly, those parents who have lost the battle and had to bury their Difficult Child's. There are many success stories here as well. </p><p></p><p>My point is this is your walk. You will know when you have had enough and have hit rock bottom and need to save yourself and let your Difficult Child find their way, whatever that will be. Eventually you will find incredible strength to do things you didn't think you could (ie kicking your Difficult Child out, calling the police, detaching emotionally, mentally and physically if only for a while). </p><p></p><p>I never thought I could stop being my son's payee, I never thought I could stop taking his phone calls for 6 months, I never thought I could place him in a residential home during his teen years, I never thought I could handle the thought of him being homeless, being an addict, a beggar. I never thought I could see him walked into a court room in an orange suit and chains. But I did. I cried and was at peace for a while when a small window of time he was living right and making good decisions. But then, the tide turned and he went back to the old way of living. It is what it is now because of his choices. I'm ok with it because there is nothing more I can do. I am sad that what I had pictured for his life will most likely never be- He is mentally challenged and I knew his life would be some what limited but I never thought at age 36, he is where he is yet again. I mourn the loss of his life being anything more then what it is...will continue to be.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Ironbutterfly, post: 722655, member: 19951"] Many of us started as you, with a Difficult Child with issues of varying degrees, everyone has a different story but really the same plot. Our Difficult Child's have issues, mental, emotional, drugs, bipolar, personality disorders, rages, sense of entitlement when they don't get what they want, failure to make a break from the family or friends. We too, were scared to take the first of many steps, set limits, give them many chances, find and get them doctor's, rehab. Then we get to the point of kicking them out of the house, then no money for phones, cars, drugs, etc. Some get to the point where they have to call the police and file charges. Then the parents who have Difficult Child's who are in jail for months to years. Then sadly, those parents who have lost the battle and had to bury their Difficult Child's. There are many success stories here as well. My point is this is your walk. You will know when you have had enough and have hit rock bottom and need to save yourself and let your Difficult Child find their way, whatever that will be. Eventually you will find incredible strength to do things you didn't think you could (ie kicking your Difficult Child out, calling the police, detaching emotionally, mentally and physically if only for a while). I never thought I could stop being my son's payee, I never thought I could stop taking his phone calls for 6 months, I never thought I could place him in a residential home during his teen years, I never thought I could handle the thought of him being homeless, being an addict, a beggar. I never thought I could see him walked into a court room in an orange suit and chains. But I did. I cried and was at peace for a while when a small window of time he was living right and making good decisions. But then, the tide turned and he went back to the old way of living. It is what it is now because of his choices. I'm ok with it because there is nothing more I can do. I am sad that what I had pictured for his life will most likely never be- He is mentally challenged and I knew his life would be some what limited but I never thought at age 36, he is where he is yet again. I mourn the loss of his life being anything more then what it is...will continue to be. [/QUOTE]
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