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Hi Ally and welcome.  The one common thing that most of us share is the inability of our children to accept responsibility for their actions.  Most are very immature.  For now, can you not accept calls?  Maybe a few months without contact would help?  I certainly don't offer that as advice, just an idea.  My own experience is that you have to sometimes separate emotionally from these kids in order to preserve your own sense of self.  It is easy to get sucked into their chaos.  Good luck.