Welcome sadandfrustrated, you have landed at a good spot, lots of folks with similar stories and good advice. I have been here for just a little while and have felt more empowered each day. I encourage you to keep visiting as you work through your decisions.
One thing for sure, it is an incredibly life disrupting mess when our adult children choose drugs.
The key word is ADULT. His world, his choices.
Pain killers are highly addictive. Addicts will do anything to get their next fix. I finally realized that I had to stop seeing my girls as they once were, as I raised them. I had to see them for what they became-addicted; alcohol, drugs partying -that is their A list.
This is your description in a nutshell-this is your son.
This is your son trying to continue to use you so he can keep doing what he is doing.
This is your son and his friend using you and walking all over your graciousness.
Written in between the lines of your post, is your acknowledgement of the reality of your sons addiction. That is a big step in the process of helping ourselves.
The next big step is knowing that we have no control over our adult children, that we are important and have a right to live peaceable lives. What goes on between that knowing is a lot of soul searching, relationship history work, sometimes we land at guilt. Visit it, but do not live there, it is probably THE biggest thing our adult children addicts use to keep us "helping them". Really, everything we do to "help" them ends up FEEDING their addiction.
This is hard work sadandfrustrated, take some time to be kind to yourself. We all come to understanding and action in our own due time.
Please take care. You are not alone. Others will come along and post.
(((HUGS)))
