So sorry you are going thru all of this. Maybe therapy with his mom might be a good thing, if the therapist will be neutral and understand that parents deserve to have rules door their home.
I am not sure in your country what the laws are about when parents are no longer legally responsible for an adult child. Teenage years are difficult, that is when my two perfect kids practically turned into strangers.
you are in a hard place, because as a step parent, you need to let your wife and his dad set most the rules, and then try to follow their lead and support their decisions.
I am sure others will soon post with better ideas than I have. Just know you are not alone. KSM
