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So sorry you are having such a hard time with your step son. My husband and I are blending our two families and we both have a child who is difficult. We discuss everything so we can be a united front for the children. It hasn't been perfect, but we learn from our mistakes and keep trying. We no longer give my older son cash for fear he is using it for drugs. If he needs gas for his car, he has to do extra chores. We do not tolerate any distespectfulness from any of the children. We had to kick my older son out because he would not live by the rules of the house. He is back home now and is very careful to be respectful. It's hard to kick them out, but it shows them how serious you are. Set your boundaries and be firm and consistent. Hopefully, your step son will see how serious you are and change his ways.