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Parent Emeritus
I don't know what I am doing...is it right?
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 442230"><p>OK My situation is different because my son definitely has a drug problem... but yours does not and I think that is important. So I think in your situation what I would do is go and meet with him and say you can come home but there are some very clear requirements for your living at home. You need to be doing something productive... school a job or volunteer work but something. It is not healthy for you to sit around all day and do nothing but play video games. I work hard and I am not going to live with someone again who totally takes advantage of me. So that is the rule, you find something productive to do and you can come home. Then stick to your guns. I don't know the law where you live but I don't believe in most places you can really refuse him a place to live until he is 18. He is young and I think staying in a homeless shelter is really really rough for anyone but particuarly someone so young and especially if he has social issues and tends to get bullied. Others here may have a different take but those are my thoughts. I am sorry you had to find us, it can be so hard to know at this age what to do. I would leave your girlfriend completely out of it and ask her to stay out of it as well. He is your son and I think it will be important to him for this to really be between the two of you, not the three of you. I also would let go of the getting up and going to bed times. He is almost 18 and he needs to feel like he has some choices in his life... at that age he really should be able to decide what times he goes to bed as long as he is not disturbing anyone else.... and as long as he is doing something other than playing video games.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 442230"] OK My situation is different because my son definitely has a drug problem... but yours does not and I think that is important. So I think in your situation what I would do is go and meet with him and say you can come home but there are some very clear requirements for your living at home. You need to be doing something productive... school a job or volunteer work but something. It is not healthy for you to sit around all day and do nothing but play video games. I work hard and I am not going to live with someone again who totally takes advantage of me. So that is the rule, you find something productive to do and you can come home. Then stick to your guns. I don't know the law where you live but I don't believe in most places you can really refuse him a place to live until he is 18. He is young and I think staying in a homeless shelter is really really rough for anyone but particuarly someone so young and especially if he has social issues and tends to get bullied. Others here may have a different take but those are my thoughts. I am sorry you had to find us, it can be so hard to know at this age what to do. I would leave your girlfriend completely out of it and ask her to stay out of it as well. He is your son and I think it will be important to him for this to really be between the two of you, not the three of you. I also would let go of the getting up and going to bed times. He is almost 18 and he needs to feel like he has some choices in his life... at that age he really should be able to decide what times he goes to bed as long as he is not disturbing anyone else.... and as long as he is doing something other than playing video games. [/QUOTE]
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I don't know what I am doing...is it right?
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