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I don't know what I am doing...is it right?
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<blockquote data-quote="mrsammler" data-source="post: 442265"><p>I'm not sure I agree about not requiring a wake-up time; it depends on how late he's sleeping in. Certainly, for a 17-year-old who has dropped out of high school and isn't working or looking for a job (despite being told to), asking that he be up and about by 10 AM seems fine by me. The legal requirement that parents house, feed, and clothe a child until the age of 18 doesn't mean that a parent is required to coddle an idling high school drop-out. </p><p></p><p>My difficult child nephew, also a high school drop out (due to refusing to go to school) at 17, was permitted by his mother to get up at whatever time he pleased due to the "he's 17 and not a child--I can't ask him to get up at a given time." The result: he partied all night and slept in every day until at least 3 PM and often closer to dinner time. He got NOTHING done, of course. That's NOT acceptable. Even if your kid isn't doing drugs or partying every night, being a drop-out and sleeping in every day and not job-hunting is NOT acceptable. </p><p></p><p>Being in a teen homeless shelter is a drag, to be sure. But if you can legally get away with it (I don't know the laws in your state), I'd not let him come home until he's VERY compliant about living by your rules. The legal requirement to house a child until he's 18 doesn't mean that you have to treat him like a crown prince or endure gross laziness, disobedience regarding your household rules (or ANY rules you enact--it's YOUR house, not his), and so on. </p><p></p><p>If it were me, and I had to comply with the law regarding providing shelter on my property for an idling, disobedient 17-year-old child? I'd buy a tent at Walmart and pitch it in the backyard for him: it's summer time, so it's not unhealthy to live in a tent this time of year. Or toss a mattress on the floor in the garage. Or in a tool shed in the back yard, if you have one. You get my point: if he's not going to comply with YOUR rules in YOUR household, he can sleep/live outside the house but on your property and under cover of tent or garage or shed.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mrsammler, post: 442265"] I'm not sure I agree about not requiring a wake-up time; it depends on how late he's sleeping in. Certainly, for a 17-year-old who has dropped out of high school and isn't working or looking for a job (despite being told to), asking that he be up and about by 10 AM seems fine by me. The legal requirement that parents house, feed, and clothe a child until the age of 18 doesn't mean that a parent is required to coddle an idling high school drop-out. My difficult child nephew, also a high school drop out (due to refusing to go to school) at 17, was permitted by his mother to get up at whatever time he pleased due to the "he's 17 and not a child--I can't ask him to get up at a given time." The result: he partied all night and slept in every day until at least 3 PM and often closer to dinner time. He got NOTHING done, of course. That's NOT acceptable. Even if your kid isn't doing drugs or partying every night, being a drop-out and sleeping in every day and not job-hunting is NOT acceptable. Being in a teen homeless shelter is a drag, to be sure. But if you can legally get away with it (I don't know the laws in your state), I'd not let him come home until he's VERY compliant about living by your rules. The legal requirement to house a child until he's 18 doesn't mean that you have to treat him like a crown prince or endure gross laziness, disobedience regarding your household rules (or ANY rules you enact--it's YOUR house, not his), and so on. If it were me, and I had to comply with the law regarding providing shelter on my property for an idling, disobedient 17-year-old child? I'd buy a tent at Walmart and pitch it in the backyard for him: it's summer time, so it's not unhealthy to live in a tent this time of year. Or toss a mattress on the floor in the garage. Or in a tool shed in the back yard, if you have one. You get my point: if he's not going to comply with YOUR rules in YOUR household, he can sleep/live outside the house but on your property and under cover of tent or garage or shed. [/QUOTE]
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I don't know what I am doing...is it right?
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