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I don't know what I am doing...is it right?
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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 442334" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>Welcome to the board.</p><p></p><p>Star made some really good points.</p><p></p><p>I'm sure your girlfriend means well because she cares about you, but from your son's point of view......she's sticking her nose in where it has no business being and he's going to resent it in a major way, most especially at the age he is at now. </p><p></p><p>My house rules were ones I knew I could stick to no matter what, same with the consequences. Because if you don't stick to them, to a kid they have no meaning. And for a kid who is using/trying manipulation every time you back down on a consequence you lose ground with them. And that ground is hard to regain. </p><p></p><p>I don't see waking at 10am as unreasonable. Although at that age mine weren't allowed to sleep in. Well, they could "try" but Mom had a way of making enough noise ect that it never worked out that way. lol </p><p></p><p>And you're right.........your son just sitting around doing nothing or just hanging out with friends is NOT good for him. He needs something constructive and productive to do with his time. How about GED classes at the local community college? Then he has something to do AND gets to graduate and have a diploma. While he's there he might discover something that interests him......he may find that he likes the environment much better than high school......and sign up for classes after that GED.</p><p></p><p>With my easy child and Travis........they both knew long before leaving high school what they wanted to do with their lives. Nichole had so many interests she couldn't seem to choose, the choice was daunting to her, and she was afraid of failure for quite a while.</p><p></p><p>I have a standing rule with adult kids. It's work full time or school full time or find somewhere else to be. You don't get to be a perpetual kid. Your goal now should be helping him become an independent adult. </p><p></p><p>If he is depressed it needs to be treated. If he's not willing to use medication, then he needs to see a professionals regardless to learn to deal with the depression/anger issues without medication. It's not just magically going to go away.</p><p></p><p></p><p>hugs</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 442334, member: 84"] Welcome to the board. Star made some really good points. I'm sure your girlfriend means well because she cares about you, but from your son's point of view......she's sticking her nose in where it has no business being and he's going to resent it in a major way, most especially at the age he is at now. My house rules were ones I knew I could stick to no matter what, same with the consequences. Because if you don't stick to them, to a kid they have no meaning. And for a kid who is using/trying manipulation every time you back down on a consequence you lose ground with them. And that ground is hard to regain. I don't see waking at 10am as unreasonable. Although at that age mine weren't allowed to sleep in. Well, they could "try" but Mom had a way of making enough noise ect that it never worked out that way. lol And you're right.........your son just sitting around doing nothing or just hanging out with friends is NOT good for him. He needs something constructive and productive to do with his time. How about GED classes at the local community college? Then he has something to do AND gets to graduate and have a diploma. While he's there he might discover something that interests him......he may find that he likes the environment much better than high school......and sign up for classes after that GED. With my easy child and Travis........they both knew long before leaving high school what they wanted to do with their lives. Nichole had so many interests she couldn't seem to choose, the choice was daunting to her, and she was afraid of failure for quite a while. I have a standing rule with adult kids. It's work full time or school full time or find somewhere else to be. You don't get to be a perpetual kid. Your goal now should be helping him become an independent adult. If he is depressed it needs to be treated. If he's not willing to use medication, then he needs to see a professionals regardless to learn to deal with the depression/anger issues without medication. It's not just magically going to go away. hugs [/QUOTE]
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I don't know what I am doing...is it right?
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