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Parent Emeritus
I don't know what I am doing...is it right?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 442483" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I'm really a BIG believer in leaving new honeys/girlfriends or men OUT of decisions we make for our children, no matter how old the children are. Our kids hated our divorce (which happened because of OUR poor decisions) and I have never met a teenager who was thrilled that his parent(s) started dating somebody else. It is embarassing and awkward for them to think of Dad or Mom having sex with anyone other than their own parent and they tend to resent the intruder. I totally don't blame the kids.</p><p></p><p> In my case, until we were almost married, the kids were not involved in my hub and my relationship. Until I was SURE it was going to work out, I didn't want to drag them through MY love life and demanding partners that were not related to them. I think this should be strictly between YOU and your son. I would ask girlfriend to back off...he does not respect her yet, if he ever will, and does not consider her somebody who should have a say-so over his life. I may be alone here, but I totally agree. Our kids have got to come first.</p><p></p><p>I do think you and son should sit down and work out rules. If he refuses to follow them, then YOU decide (alone) what the consequences will be, even if it means he has to leave home. No teenager who is a high school dropout should be sleeping all day and not looking vigorously for a job. I may have made it a rule that he has to get his GED if he wants to come home. He will get nowhere without one.</p><p></p><p>I hope this helped. I had one very difficult teenager too (she straightened out) and my kids did have experience with a stepfather...nothing good happened there until stepfather and me decided that HE would not discipline; that it would be myself and my ex doing that. It was quite effective as far as relaxing the household. </p><p></p><p>Good luck and keep us posted.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 442483, member: 1550"] I'm really a BIG believer in leaving new honeys/girlfriends or men OUT of decisions we make for our children, no matter how old the children are. Our kids hated our divorce (which happened because of OUR poor decisions) and I have never met a teenager who was thrilled that his parent(s) started dating somebody else. It is embarassing and awkward for them to think of Dad or Mom having sex with anyone other than their own parent and they tend to resent the intruder. I totally don't blame the kids. In my case, until we were almost married, the kids were not involved in my hub and my relationship. Until I was SURE it was going to work out, I didn't want to drag them through MY love life and demanding partners that were not related to them. I think this should be strictly between YOU and your son. I would ask girlfriend to back off...he does not respect her yet, if he ever will, and does not consider her somebody who should have a say-so over his life. I may be alone here, but I totally agree. Our kids have got to come first. I do think you and son should sit down and work out rules. If he refuses to follow them, then YOU decide (alone) what the consequences will be, even if it means he has to leave home. No teenager who is a high school dropout should be sleeping all day and not looking vigorously for a job. I may have made it a rule that he has to get his GED if he wants to come home. He will get nowhere without one. I hope this helped. I had one very difficult teenager too (she straightened out) and my kids did have experience with a stepfather...nothing good happened there until stepfather and me decided that HE would not discipline; that it would be myself and my ex doing that. It was quite effective as far as relaxing the household. Good luck and keep us posted. [/QUOTE]
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I don't know what I am doing...is it right?
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